Thoughts on an ever-evolving life

Archive for the month “May, 2015”

Filling the Hole

Sir and I went to bed last night, completely and utterly exhausted. I curled into my little ball to settle in for the night. Sir slid in bed behind me, for what I assumed was snuggling until we both drifted to sleep. I was wrong. He grabbed a fist full of my hair, rolled me onto my back, climbed on top of me and forced himself into my already wetting hole. Through rugged breaths and gritted teeth, Sir growled, “I am sorry my dear, but I am tired and I need to use you as a cum hole tonight. If there is something that you need, it’s going to have to wait.” He proceeded to pound me, pull me and use me until his convulsive release. After he regained his composure, he gently kissed me, rolled over to his side, wrapped his arms around me and drifted off to sleep.

What I don’t think he understands is, that is EXACTLY what I NEEDED. I derive such pleasure from his Dominance and use of my body. I NEED to serve him, his needs and his desires. I NEED to be his cum hole, his receptacle and his release. I know some don’t understand that, but as I floated back to earth and drifted off to sleep myself, I felt more love than some will feel their entire life. Thank you Sir, for knowing exactly what I needed, and for filling my hole and heart.


AMAZING! There was no way I couldn’t share this.

Dan's space

Welcome To Society.

Welcome to society,
We hope you enjoy your stay,
And please feel free to be yourself,
As long as it’s in the right way,
Make sure you love your body,
Not too much or we’ll tear you down,
We’ll bully you for smiling,
And then wonder why you frown,
We’ll tell you that you’re worthless,
That you shouldn’t make a sound,
And then cry with all the others,
As you’re buried in the ground,
You can fall in love with anyone,
As long as it’s who we choose,
And we’ll let you have your opinions,
But please shape them to our views,
Welcome to society,
We promise that we won’t deceive,
And one more rule now that you’re here,
There’s no way you can leave.

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What do I need?

Today, someone asked me what I needed. I have been spinning that question around in my head ever since. Well, of course there are the basic necessities of life like food, water, shelter, etc. But these are boing and everyone needs them.

What do I need? I can tell you that today I have needed SEX. I have thought of little else. I need to be taken, kissed, ravaged, claimed, spanked, commanded and used. Sir has been away and I am about to go crazy. He left me instructions, for while he was gone, and he denied me any orgasms until his return. My toy chest has been screaming my name. My shower head has been begging me to pay a visit. My hands have been slapped away from their wandering need. I need SEX!!!

However, I don’t just need any sex. The root of my need and desires lies squarely in the arms of my Sir. He is the reason I have such uncontrollable longings. I have always thought that fairy tales were just that, imaginary stories that could never come true. I WAS WRONG! Sir has given me the perfect fairy tale life, right here in reality. Don’t get me wrong, shit happens and it really sucks, but he gives me a sense of calm and security that lets me believe, with all my heart, that together we can overcome ANYTHING! He is kind, considerate and incredibly generous. He is secure enough in himself and in us that he allows me to play with others, always at his discretion. I have NEVER met another man like him, and I doubt that I ever will.

He is my husband, my Dominant, my Sir, my partner, my heart, my love and my soul mate. Forever and Always.

That is what I NEED.

I Earned It!

I can hardly sit down today. Before I can tell you why, you need a little back story.

I was having a REALLY sassy day two days ago. I was having fun watching the veins bulge in Sir’s neck as I intentionally pushed his buttons. He tried to pin me in the kitchen and give me a kiss and I turned away. He just smiled and walked out of the room. When he came back, we sat together and had a really in depth conversation about things that had been going on in our lives. Everything softened and I decided to go to the bedroom to get ready for bed while he went out to shut in the chickens. I walked into the bedroom and found a metal folding chair, two sets of handcuffs, a ton of rope, a wooden board, a T-square, oil and leather. “OH, SHIT!” I quickly got ready and into bed. When Sir finally joined me he looked around and asked where the two sets of handcuffs had gone. I told him I only wish I knew. He just gave me a dark stare and climbed into bed with me. As I drifted off to sleep, all I could think was, God, I hope he doesn’t find them anytime soon. 🙂

That brings us up to the current time. Sir decided he wanted his cuffs back last night. He grabbed me by the wrist and drug me down the hall, into the bedroom. He stripped me naked and we wrestled for a short time, until he pinned my ass face down on the bed. Unbeknownst to me, he made some new cuffs out of leather and used them to restrain my wrists and ankles. He proceed to work me over Hard. He had the leather belt and crop. Holly FUCK they stung. He kept doing what he called an “around the world” where he would start at one ankle, work up that leg, hit HARD across my ass and then continue down the other leg. I was SCREAMING into the pillows so I wouldn’t be heard by our children or neighbors.
He would place ice cubes on the small of my back. (In case you didn’t know, that particular spot is incredibly temperature sensitive.) He even decided that for the very first time, he would use anal play as a form of punishment. Another reason I can hardly sit down today.

He thought it was cute to hold things in front of my face and ask me what color they were. When I would respond, (black, green, blue, white) he would smile, say good girl and then lay a wicked belt lash across my hot pink ass. I took it for about an hour and a half, until his voice really changed. He had the crop in his hand and he whipped me the hardest he had that night with every syllable of “Where-are-my-fuck-ing-cuffs!!!!!” I was exhausted, sweaty, thirsty and my ass was welted and burning, so I told him. He has NEVER been that forceful before. He told me this morning that he had decided he wasn’t going to lose. I was going to tell him where they were or have to use my safe word, before he would stop.

Once he had them in his hands, he very lovingly tended to my bruised and rope burned wrists and ankles. He gently treated my welted backside. Lovingly kissed me and stroked my hair. Softly rolled me over, onto my back and then proceeded to take me and fuck me REALLY hard. By the time we finished, I was only semi-conscious, totally spent and laying in a puddle of our juices. It took a while and support from Sir to finally recover, use the restroom and drink some water. I slept like a brick last night.

I got what I deserved, I know. BUT, I still have one set of his cuffs hidden, and just wait until he goes to use his crop again. 🙂

I HIT 100!

I know that this is no big deal to most people, but I am excited. I now have 100 Followers. I don’t exactly know why they follow me, but what the hell, I LOVE IT! Thank you SO MUCH to everyone who has logged in and read my crazy ramblings. I find it to be fun and therapeutic and a LOT cheaper than my shrink. Blessings to you and yours. 🙂

A Poem for Mother’s Day, Actually for Every Day

This is a poem that I read about 20 years ago, and it still touches me every time I read it. I don’t know who wrote it, but they are a genius. I hope it makes you think too.

I ran into a stranger as he passed by.
“Oh, excuse me please,” was my reply.
He said, “Please excuse me, too:
I wasn’t even watching for you.”

We were very polite, this stranger and I.
We went on our way and we said good-bye.
But at home a different story is told,
How we treat our loved ones, young and old.

Later that day, cooking the evening meal,
My daughter stood beside me very still.
When I turned, I nearly knocked her down.
“Move out of the way,” I said with a frown.

She walked away, her little heart broken.
I didn’t realize how harshly I’d spoken.
While I lay awake in bed,
God’s still small voice came to me and said,

“While dealing with a stranger….common
Courtesy you use,
But the children you love, you seem to
Look on the kitchen floor,
You’ll find some flowers there by the door.

Those are the flowers she brought for you.
She picked them herself, pink, yellow and
She stood quietly not to spoil the surprise,
And you never saw the tears in her eyes.”

By this time, I felt very small
And now my tears began to fall.
I quietly went and knelt by her bed:
“Wake up, little girl, wake up,” I said.

“Are these the flowers you picked for me?”
She smiled, “I found ‘em, out by the tree.
I picked ‘em because they’re pretty like you.
I knew you’d like ‘em, especially the blue.”

I said, “Daughter, I’m sorry for the way I
Acted today;
I shouldn’t have yelled at you that way.”
She said, “Oh, Mom, that’s okay;
I love you anyway.”

I said, “Daughter, I love you, too,
And I do like the flowers,
especially the blue.”

Are you aware that: If we died tomorrow, the company we work for could easily replace us in a matter of days. But the family we left behind will feel the loss for the rest of their lives. If we pour ourselves more into work than we do our families — it’s an unwise investment indeed.

How you know you are VERY LUCKY

My head is spinning. It has been one hell of a week, and it’s only Thursday.

It began on Sunday, when we went to the memorial service for a fourteen year old girl who decided to kill herself. There is no known answer to the question, “Why?” The service was a nice as any service could possibly be, under these circumstances. As we approached the parents, to give our condolences, I was struck by the complete emptiness in their eyes. I guess I didn’t expect anything different, it was just haunting. Time for the healing to begin, I guess.

I started the new work week on Monday. I was finally getting some lunch when they informed me that my husband was on the phone. I went to the closest handset and picked up the connection. I instantly knew something was wrong. “Have you checked your phone?” I hadn’t. He then proceeded to tell me that a very dear friend of ours had sent a picture of her wedding ring and severed braid. You see, she had put this tiny braid in her hair on her wedding day, 30 years ago. The caption read, “Do you know what this is? My whole world just blew up.”

I instantly ran to get my phone. I had received the text too. I began to franticly call her, finally getting an answer. The short story is that her husband, of 30 years, had just informed her that he had been having an affair for 8 months, and was in love with this new woman. As you can imagine, she was completely devastated. I offered to go straight to her, but she was in a daze and not at home, so I waited and waited and finally went to sleep that night.

When I woke up early the next morning, I called her. All she would say is, “Please help me. I need you.” I threw a few things in a bag and drove the 3 hours to her house. She met me at the door, desperately wrapped around me and cried for at least 15 minutes. She finally let go and we went inside. Lots of time, tears, discussions, anger and sadness followed. He came and picked up all his clothes. She asked me to stay. I told her I was hers as long as she needed me.

This is normally a really strong lady, I had never seen her like that, scared and vulnerable. She will have an incredibly long road ahead of her. My heart aches for them both. Yes, I know he is a GIANT ASS for what he did, but I don’t think he has any idea what he just threw away.

So, I am finally on my way back home. I have plenty of time to think. All I can think about is how INCREDABLY LUCKY I am. I have a husband who loves and adores me, and will give me a good spanking whenever I need it. My son is graduating in a month with his first Bachelor degree, the second coming next spring, just before he heads to Medical School. My daughter is having an Awesome freshman year in high school, having already won a “Best Actress” award for a school production (well, she IS MY daughter, after all) and she goes to prom this Saturday with a really nice young man. We have a nice home, enough money to live comfortably and we are all in good health. And, I didn’t have to bury my 14 year old child, so, I can handle ANYTHING else that comes my way.

Life is Good!

My Thoughts

Perfect words, thought out loud. 💋

Siren Whispers


My thoughts

Often run away with me

My imagination

The lever turned to HIGH

Entertaining devious thoughts

Of you

Of me

Of us

They make me hungry

In a way I’ve never experienced before

My mind

Constantly swimming

In the dark pool

Of decadent wishes

Desires unfurling

With brilliant colors

Photo taken from Pinterest

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“Words” to live by.

Siren Whispers



They have the ability

To soothe

Or wound

They can bring a smile

Or a torrent of tears

They can clarify

Or confuse

They can build trust

Or tear it down

They can provide hope

Or remove it

Words should be used with care

We cannot take them back

Once they are freed

I have been on the receiving end of such words

The sting and hurt of unexpected ones wounding deeply

Likewise I have been guilty of letting my own emotions

Loosen my tongue

In pain

In anger

I hate having to try to retrieve those words

I hate seeing the hurt I have caused

Because you can never fully reclaim them

They remain


Through the person’s mind

Always a reminder

That you cannot get past

Always a wall

That has gone up

Photo taken from Pinterest




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