missameliaandsir

Thoughts on an ever-evolving life

Why You Got to Be So Mean?

Recently, I have been thinking about this medium and wondering why people feel the need to be so mean. I will give you a recent case in point that I experienced.

I have been following the blog of a man that cheated on his wife. There are a million detail, reasons and extenuating circumstances, but no excuses and he is brutally punishing himself for it. So, I left this comment on one of his recent posts.

I have a question for you. I fucked another man, one of my husband’s best friends in fact, does that make me a terrible person, a horrible wife and a bad mother? Should I be condemned to a life of pain, misery, heartache and be forever unforgiven? Is that the life you would wish upon me, my husband and my children? I sure hope not, because that is definitely NOT the life I wish for you. As you already know, you are the only one that can forgive yourself. It doesn’t mean you have to condone it, you just have to accept it and let it go. Those families that forgave the shooter who gunned down their loved ones in the church in South Carolina, didn’t forgive him because they condoned what he did. They forgave him because they needed to so THEY could heal. Heal yourself, my friend. You have done NOTHING that is unforgivable. NOTHING. ❤

First, I have NEVER cheated on my husband! Yes, we have introduced third parties into our life, but ONLY with complete knowledge and consent from ALL concerned. I wrote my reply to purposefully imply that I had, to make my point. I think this guy HAS to forgive himself first, so his family can heal. Anyway, I received a reply from someone else and it said,

You fucked one of your husband’s best friends and you’re asking if that makes you a terrible person?? Err, YEAH, it does actually. And a whore. I hope your poor children never find out, otherwise that’s them screwed for life. Ugh.

This was directed at me and offered NOTHING to the writer of the Blog. I went to this persons page and found out she is a wife that has been cheated on, is trying to work things out with her husband and thinks any woman that even walks down the same street as her husband is a whore, slut, bitch, and tramp. I understand she has had pain and disappointment, but I don’t understand the need to be so vicious in her comments to someone she doesn’t even know. I am NOT the one her husband fucked.

She can call me any name she wants, it doesn’t make it true. I am DEFINITELY NOT a whore. I don’t get paid for sex. I give it away for free.  I know I brought up my kids up in my reply, but that was the only thing that REALLY upset me. You can say anything you want about me, attack me and crucify me, but you had BETTER leave my kids the FUCK ALONE! Mama Bear don’t play.

So, I sent this reply.

I am truly sorry that you have been hurt very badly by someone. I hope that you are able to find some peace, because your angry reply, made with you having only the barest of information, is very judgmental, hostile and unforgiving. My point was that really, really good people make bad decisions sometimes. And yes, some really, really shitty people do too. Even if terrible mistakes are made, love, forgiveness and compassion can still lead us forward to a life that is changed for the better.

I could have been really pissy and mean right back, but that’s my whole idea behind this post, why would I? I have never seen the need to bring someone else down to your level when you are hurting. We ALL hurt sometimes. I would much rather find someone that is down and do my best to bring them up. I usually find that by doing that, I am raised a little along with them.

In conclusion: Don’t be mean, Love your fellow man and have wild, kinky mind-blowing sex!

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31 thoughts on “Why You Got to Be So Mean?

  1. Annie B on said:

    That’s MY GIRL! Taking the high road always. She’s a bitter woman, who if continues with this level of judgment and hatred, should expect to discover the Mr. getting a little loving on the side again real soon. That kind of poison is hard to contain and only spray on outsiders – lots of collateral damage .

    Good for you, A. You know how I feel about monogamy and you know how I feel about YOU. You and Prof created a loving life that works for you and by default showers your cubs with all the strength they need to make their way in this world.

    On the other hand, nursing at the tit of a bitter bitch will certainly produce some dandy citizens. Won’t it.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yes, sometimes people just can’t look past their own hate and anger to see what the actual cost of it is. I LOVE hearing about all the different relationships, combinations and kinky shit other people do. Sometime it grosses me out, but sometimes it inspires me to try it. Either way, I learn. Love you lots, my friend.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Pimpf on said:

    right way to act and right answer to do, some people are confortable in their misery and the way they complain also and can only wish others to suffer as they do or even more that is a terrible state of mind,You had the right reaction and the right answer to her, I must say Im’ not as patient as you are as I usually get away from this kind of person I don’t feel close to 😉 Thanks for this great article and testimony !

    Liked by 1 person

  3. The most healing thing I ever did for myself was to forgive and love my ex husband’s wife. Yes, they had an affair. Yes, her sister was my best friend. Yes, it was brutal for years to see them together as she got pregnant…BUT I was the only person who could change my heart and I wanted to be whole.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I completely understand that. My first husband cheated and left me when his girlfriend got pregnant. I found myself confused and hating him for a long time. Finally, I decided that he has had to suffer the consequences of his actions (on wife #5 now) and I came out a better, stronger person for having gone through it. My life now is AMAZING, so if anything, I feel sorry for him because he has never been able to find the love and contentment that he has so desperately searched for. Sometimes happiness is the best revenge. 🙂

      Like

  4. Never underestimate the power of simple hate. Using that, the Devil can get you to do anything. The easiest way to get a person to do anything you wish is hate. Don’t hate, it puts the other person in charge.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. “…love, forgiveness, and compassion.” I’m so glad you are spreading this message. I have a hard time when people are so negative and unforgiving. Dont they get it just begets more negative interaction and emotion? Dont they care? They don’t but I’m glad you did.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. BallsyBilly on said:

    Unfortunately there are some haters out there. I believe you know how I feel. F, with a capital F, them.
    And I’m with you Miss A. Call me anything you want, but leave my family, and my friends, out of it.
    How can people like that love anyone else when they don’y love themselves.
    Whatever ones preference, rather monogamy, polyamory, bi-sexual, pan-sexual, gay, well you get the picture, it’s all GREAT!
    Love one another and the haters can GO TO HELL!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Amen! Unfortunately, I think the hate puts them in their own living hell on earth. That is what I find so frustrating. If they just let themselves forgive and heal, Hell would retreat and the sunshine would glow again. Thank you for your nice and supportive comments, my friend. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Yay for you, girl! I love your principles 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  8. He’s actually a friend of mine. He gets a lot of betrayed spouses and yes a lot are hateful. It’s sad. When my H had an affair, I wasn’t going to be bffs with the woman but I didn’t hate her. I actually eventually felt sorry for her. I don’t get the hating women n calling them whores. Sorry that happened to you. But glad I found your blog 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • I am glad you found me too. 🙂 My heart has hurt for your friend. I hope that he is able to find some peace in his life, in whatever form it takes. I don’t understand all the hate either. Like you, I had no desire to be bffs with my exes affair, but eventually, she got exactly what she gave. Being called a whore actually didn’t bother me at all. I was just sad that people feel the need to be mean and nasty in this medium. It is REALLY easy to call people names and condemn them when you are nameless, faceless and protected by the internet. Say it to my face, and we might have a WHOLE other outcome. 😉

      Liked by 1 person

      • He has to let go of the guilt. It’s crushing him but he’s getting better than he was. I told him having all the betrayed spouses spouting how horrible he should feel is not helping lol. People are so nice, kind and supportive on my blog. I don’t get it.

        Liked by 1 person

      • I will keep sending him, AND his wife, love and best wishes. Forgiveness will make life SO much better for everyone.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Thank you! I will tell him. Be well xo

        Like

      • I would’ve loved to have seen that in real life lol. I’m 5’8 and no one talks shit to me either. Just keep on being the kind, loving person you are. It is noticed and appreciated. Hugs xo

        Liked by 1 person

      • I am only 5’2″ but can be Hell in heels if I need to. My parents told me to NEVER throw the first punch, but make the second one count. I choose to NOT be a physically aggressive person, but I have brought grown men to tears with my quick, sharp tongue, when the situation warranted it. And if you mess with my family, all bets are off. However, I would MUCH rather spread LOVE. ❤️❤️❤️

        Liked by 1 person

      • Wow! My parents taught me the very same thing lol. Definitely go where the love is!

        Like

  9. Alright, I don’t think there is anything wrong with you. This can just happen, sometimes its due to the person not getting needs met in the marriage, but not always.

    And watch the whore word, would ya. I have kids and am single, my ex hardly ever pays for our children like he’s legally supposed to do. I can only work 2 $8/hr jobs, still wasn’t enough since out of 3 kids ,two of them are sick and special needs.insurance doesn’t cover everything. So selling myself for sex became necessary.wasn’t my first choice. But I paid bilks, kept food on the table, clothes on them all. Paid for necessary things they needed. I wasn’t proud how I got the money, but proud they weren’t suffering since their dad is an asshole. Please suspend all judgments, unless you have to ever be in that position. Hope you won’t have to.

    Like

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