Thoughts on an ever-evolving life

All Good Things

They say, All Good Things Must Come to an End. Well, my friends, this is no different. I am afraid that I have to go and try and see life in a different light. I was exposed to the D/s life by a very good friend. It made me feel things that I had never felt before. I immediately went to my husband and drug him on this crazy ride with me. That should have been the first and only clue I needed to know that it was never going to work.

My exposure had opened up a world to me, which I had never even considered. It was a place where I felt more free and alive then I ever had my entire life. I thought I had finally found the answers I had always been searching for. It was laid at my feet, I picked it up and started to run. Unfortunately, I didn’t take the time to realize that my husband was being drug along behind me.

He tried. God knows he tried. I will love him forever for the attempt he made to make me complete. I was crushed every time he couldn’t meet my expectations and left me in free fall. I blamed him for it, when all along it was actually my fault, not his. He was trying to do something for me, not for himself.

It has finally registered in my foggy brain that I need to let this go, for him and for me. We lived a very nice life for years before I forced us on this journey. So, to save what we have, I have to stop the forward march into what I want, but he doesn’t. I know he would continue if I asked, but the cost is just too great for both of us.

So, my wonderful new friends, I must retreat from here and find a content place to live from now on, because this doesn’t work for both of us. I am grief stricken at the loss of this piece of me and the little pieces of you that you have shared. They will be forever stored in a very special place deep in my soul.

I will be keeping this site open for a while, until I decide whether I can continue writing or not. I hope I find I can. It has fed my soul like nothing I have ever experienced before. Until then, I wish you all nothing but love and a life full of happiness and freedom. I hope to find that freedom again for myself, someday.


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26 thoughts on “All Good Things

  1. D/s, it only works if everyone in the relationship wants it. You love your husband more than the D/s lifestyle, as evidenced by the fact that you would sooner give up D/s than give up the marriage. Knowing what’s important to you, what’s worth hanging onto, is a big deal.


  2. I hope that you can find peace in your decision and hope too that you continue to write (I, for one, would miss them). To release and free that part of you that you have found. Wherever your path takes you I hope you are happy. Blessings to you Lovely. xo


  3. Casey Michael Smith on said:

    I refuse to like this. Allow me a minute to get over my selfish feelings.

    I wish you & the Hubby all the best. I’ll still be around if you ever want to stop by for a visit.


  4. I do understand your decision and it is not an easy one. Please do not stop writing as our loss will be as great as yours in leaving. Know that my thoughts will be with you here, there or wherever you go.


  5. Life takes us funny places sometimes. Lots of twists and turns to get us where we need to be. Hugs and good things to you!


  6. You don’t have to leave. Stay with us share your thoughts your life. You will be missed. You can change the tone of the blog it happens. Even in the Ds life mine has changed. Hugs.


  7. littleannab on said:

    I know the feeling, please anytime you need to talk. My ear is open. I do understand all to well


  8. I hope you find your peace.


  9. I understand having to do what’s best for the both of you but my little wants to throw a big temper tantrum. I just found you!
    Seriously I will miss you.


  10. You already know how I feel. Life isn’t a style – it’s just LIFE! Live it. Love it. Cherish it. It goes to damn quickly to loose anything staying stuck at any station along the journey. Take with you what feeds you BOTH and leave the rest behind.

    I love you both and we remain forever friends ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  11. I’m going to miss you so much. But that’s selfish on my part. You are prioritizing what’s most important and that’s worthy of mad respect. I hope you keep writing your stories. And try your hand at publishing, just saying… Hugs, my friend! ❤


  12. Your writings will truly be missed and your fun loving spirit but that is selfish on my part. I hope you find your peace and may you be blessed with happiness in your life.


  13. Best of luck in every path you take. I will miss you. Do you know, every morning I look and see your like I smile. You let me know I’m not alone. I would genuinely like to keep in touch in a strictly vanilla fashion, if that’s ok? Allow me to offer my email: cmfletcher86@gmail.com
    Hugs and best of luck on your next chapter in life!
    – Isobel


  14. Wise call requiring introspection and wisdom. Not drinking doesn’t mean you have to leave though.


  15. I read your post to Mr. HH who I also brought with me on this journey. He asked, “Did she get permission to do this?” So I offer a very conservative and quiet Dom’s perspective to you. Sometimes in our efforts to make life easy, we assume we know what they want. If this is better for you both, I applaud your courage to face the journey. Just don’t shed the things that make this dynamic incredible. I see those as deep communication, trust, honesty, and vulnerability. They make a good marriage regardless of the kink factor. You don’t have to give those things up and they make everything else better. Blessings on your new journey. I will miss you here.

    Wild West Angel


  16. domseaman on said:

    I emailed you – I’m here if you need anything xxx


  17. I think mindfulness and introspection are always a good thing. They lead us to places that often require bravery and truth. I wish you the best on your journey. You are a gifted writer and an encouraging, kind woman.


  18. fictionalkevin on said:

    Thank you for your openness and honesty here. I’m sure it was difficult. We all have wants and desires. Sometimes there are two at odds and we have to choose. I wish you the best on this journey.


  19. There is truly nothing wrong with continuing to blog your thoughts and feelings here. Whethere you write about D/s or something else entirely, the fact is that it is YOU writing that we have come to look forward to. You have a unique voice, and it’s one worth sharing. Whatever you choose, so long as it’s right for you, I for one will applaud you.


  20. subspeak on said:

    This breaks my heart to hear but also leaves me in awe. I know how important the D/s part of any relationship will be in my life so for you to be able to see past your needs and out his first is amazing! I really wish you two the best and also hope that you can find the strength to continue writing as you are so incredibly good at it, plus it would be nice to hear that you are doing well 🙂
    All the best and as my love as I can send to you in a virtual bear hug over the Internet 🐻 xxx


  21. Stay and continue to visit and share with us those pieces of yourself that we have come to look forward to and enjoy.


  22. iamdaphneblake84 on said:



  23. BallsyBilly on said:

    Maybe leave the D/s on the shelf for now. But don’t leave us. Say it isn’t so. But if you must, we will understand & stay friends.

    Liked by 1 person

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