missameliaandsir

Thoughts on an ever-evolving life

For Better or For Worse

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As many of you know, or have surmised, Professor and I hit a really rough patch in our relationship.  Actually, it was bad enough that for the first time in 20+ years of marriage, the “D” word was thrown out.  It wasn’t like any plans for permanent separation were made, but we had never even said the word before, because we never had these kind of problems.  I am not going into details, and it wasn’t anything life altering, but it was devastating to us.

Because we took vows that said “for better or for worse”, we knew we had to do all the work necessary to fix us again.  We have talked and talked and talked and talked.  We have also cried and yelled and slept in separate beds and I even ran away from home for a short amount of time.  But we kept coming back and working.

Recently, we had quite a big breakthrough.  There part of our core problem that we hadn’t found words for, until Professor finally and eloquently found the words.  He described it like this:  He had always respected me and my right to say “no” to anything and everything, especially our sexual relationship.  He also realized that he had taken my right to say “no” and twisted it into given me the only power to say “yes”.  He would sit and patiently wait until I initiated, even when he had desires of his own.  That left me feeling unwanted, undesirable and hurting.  I didn’t want to be the only one “driving the bus”.  He has finally realized that HE has the right to say “yes” AND I still have the right to say “no”.  He is now exercising his right to say “YES” like he never has before and it is quite AMAZING.  If you have been following me for a while, you should realize that I very rarely exercise my right to say “no”.  J

The other thing we have realized is that no matter how you define BDSM, D/s, M/s, ABC…LMNOP…or XYZ, I guarantee that we WON’T fit your definition, and we are VERY GOOD with that fact.  We have no desire to try and fit into anyone’s mold or model of how things are “supposed” to be done.  If you haven’t noticed, I and We are VERY SEXUAL and Kinky.  Some of that falls into the BDSM lifestyle, but we aren’t looking for a lifestyle, we are looking for a LIFE (Thanks Rita).  So, from this minute forward, we are going to be working on US and OUR wants, needs and desires, without labels, guidelines, or outside definitions.

I am finally feeling like writing again, and I want to thank all of you who have continued to wait and follow me through this difficult time in our lives.  I hope that I will be able to give you some more of the salacious, sensual and sexy stories that you have come to expect.  Maybe I’ll even give you something unexpected.  You will also be seeing more of Professor around here.  He’s a fairly decent guy, so I think you will find him entertaining too.  J

Now, move away from the computer and go Wildly Fuck Somebody!

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29 thoughts on “For Better or For Worse

  1. No thankin’ me; you guys figured out what works for you. Just have a fucking good time, anytime, all the time – till we’re out of time.

    The rest of the shit doesn’t matter when your in ICU desperate for a miracle or one of you is sick and the other must step up and lead. It’s just LIFE baby – we’ve only got a one way ticket so make the fucking ride count ❤

    Love you both!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Mr Modigliani on said:

    Blessings to both of you and I have been all day. xo

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Glad to hear! Love & hugs & hopes for all good things!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. You’ve got it figured out ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

  5. The only power to say yes — that is a good way to put it. You two sound strong and possibly stubborn. 😉 You will figure it out. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Stubborn! Who are you calling stubborn? I am going to stand here with my arms crossed and hold my breath until you take that back! 🙂
      He finally found the words to describe what we were experiencing. It has been quite amazing to finally find a point to begin moving forward from. Thank you for your kind and supportive words.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Reblogged this on dave94015 and commented:
    an interesting insight into how a couple handles their wants & needs: “he realized that HE has the right to say “yes” AND I still have the right to say “no” ‘ …but what if he says “yes” and she says “no”? Doesn’t the no-vote ultimately decide?

    Liked by 1 person

  7. There is no “right” way to relationship. It always has to be your unique road because your destination is so unique. Best of all to you both. So happy to hear you are emerging on the upside of your temporary hiccup.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Oh, my heart is so damn happy for you right now! Live it however I makes you happy. Period!

    Kay💜

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Sounds as if you are both in a wonderful place. Enjoy!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. How refreshing!!! Love this so much and so blessed to radiology your words! Love you so much. I feel you!!! Really feel you and that makes me happy.

    Like

  11. fictionalkevin on said:

    I would love to follow your admonition, but I’m all out of somebody’s today. Maybe I’ll just have to fuck myself.

    Liked by 1 person

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