And The Winner Is…
If there was a contest for the STUPIDEST, DUMBEST, MOST BONEHEADED, REDICULOUS AND IMATURE ACTION OF 2015, I know EXACTLY who would win, hands down, no competition. It would be the two tenants that we have renting the studio apartment on the second floor of our house.
First, a little background. Seven years ago we added onto our house. The addition included a 550 square foot upstairs studio, with its own entrance, bathroom, kitchen and balcony. It is part of the house, so it shares all the utilities and heating system with our living space. My brother lived there for a year until he bought the home across the street. It was used for a few years as a game/hang-out room for my son through High School. When good friends of ours had a child coming to town to go to culinary school, we offered it as a place for him to rent. He lived there for a year by himself and now lives there with his girlfriend.
So, this brings us to Christmas Eve. The two of them left to go visit his mom. No problem. Then on the day after Christmas, my mother and brother were returning from a morning walk, when my brother noticed the upstairs window on the front of the house was open. We do NOT live in one of those places that have been having record highs. In fact, we have inches of snow and the temps have been down in the low teens at night. So, we immediately texted our tenant and asked for permission to go upstairs to shut the window, since they wouldn’t be home until the 29th. He eventually got back to us and this is where they won the prize.
He informed us that they had actually left all the windows open. You see, they had fruit flies and they wanted the cold to kill them. If we really thought that those windows being opened were affecting the rest of the house, we could go up and close them. Remember, we have one central heating system for the entire house, so yes, it affected everything else. When we got upstairs, they had indeed left EVERY window open, but just to make sure the fruit flies were really dead, they also propped open the French doors onto the snow covered balcony. (I know this is where you are thinking I am kidding you. Unfortunately, I’m not and it only gets better.)
So the rooms were colder than my freezers downstairs and EVERY pipe was frozen solid. The faucet on the bathroom and kitchen sink had exploded the diffusers. The shower handle had exploded and water and ice were shooting across, hitting the wall and splattering onto the floor. The toilet bowl and tank were solid blocks of ice. I swear you must have all heard the string of screaming obscenities that came streaming from my mouth as I rushed downstairs to call for an Emergency/Holiday/Weekend Plumber.
I also contacted our renters and informed them that if they wanted to FUCKING KILL FRUIT FLIES, THEY SHOULD REALLY TRY USING THE GLASS OF WINE AND PLASTIC WRAP NEXT TIME!!!! They were also told that any and all charges would be their responsibility.
So, we sat for the next several hours without water, thawing out the room. The plumber finally arrived at 9:45 PM, worked for hours, repaired all the fixtures and finally left at 1:30 in the morning. Luckily we had used the really good Pex piping so there was no damage inside the walls. However, once everything was thawed, repaired, cleaned up and warm again, they DID still have fruit flies, because they left the old FUCKING FRUIT ON THE COUNTER!!
This is why I nominate and declare them the winners of the 2015 STUPIDEST, DUMBEST, MOST BONEHEADED, REDICULOUS AND IMATURE ACTION!!