missameliaandsir

Thoughts on an ever-evolving life

Frenzy

Blog Post-1-22-16-Frenzy

I was reading the blog Respectfully Submitted tonight. https://marriedsubmissive.wordpress.com/2016/01/21/looking-back/

It really struck me because I had a pretty good idea how she was feeling.  Now, I could be completely wrong about that, but I have also felt that same reaction with other blogs I have read.  So, I decided to write a short book in her reply box.  I thought I would share it here, just in case it could possibly help someone else too.

It sounds like you are suffering through some of the same problems I have experienced. It starts off so hot and frantic. Everything is new and perfect and better than it’s ever been. You just can’t get enough. You have entered “Sub Frenzy”. It’s absolutely euphoric and manic, but COMPLETELY unsustainable.

So, you finally realize that anything other than everything seems like a letdown. You start to almost resent, if not rebel, against this thing that brought you so much joy, which is now letting you down. Something has changed and you feel like it will NEVER be the same.

I think you are right about that. It won’t and can’t be the same. The frenzy feels wonderful, but is unbelievably destructive. We have “Real” lives that still happen and need our attention. So, you retreat from this new way, trying to pull back into your old way of living, but you’re left feeling somewhat lost and less than you ever were before.

I can tell you that you don’t have to stay that way. First, you have to decide to accept Him and yourself for the flawed individuals that you are. Next, you have to get over all the shit spinning around in your head, telling you one thing, then convincing you of the exact opposite. Then, and this is the hardest part, you have to let go and leap. Not into the crazy that you just escaped from, but into the unknown. It is scary but if you are with the one you love more than anyone else, and you communicate, you can find the perfect mix that is Y/you. We have to stop trying to be anything other than who we are with the person that we are with. You don’t have to question His or your every action and reaction. Sometimes, we just have to let go and feel what is. I hope you can take that leap and that you find a soft place to land. The landing can be the VERY BEST part so far.

Decide what is truly important to you, and live for THAT. The rest of the shit will fit in around it, or just roll away. XOXO 🙂

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31 thoughts on “Frenzy

  1. love it! can’t go back to to the old way ever. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • No Ma’am. I can’t go back to normal vanilla and I can’t go back to the manic frenzy. I am unbelievably happy with our new routines and ways of living. Sometimes you just have to settle down, take it all in and the answer will come to you. Thank you for reading Sweetheart. xoxo

      Liked by 1 person

      • manic was crazy – i saw nothing else. happy to keep exploring at a smoother pace

        Liked by 1 person

      • I completely agree. It is still hot and fiery but not manic. Coming out of it led to a huge crash, but all the pieces have been picked up and put back together better than ever. 😊

        Like

      • You have to live the life that makes YOU the happiest, and most content. A true soulmate, be it D/s or vanilla will want, and accept, you for what you are and nothing else. In my opinion, if you have to be, or they expect you to be, what they want you to be, then the basis of the relationship is doomed to fail. The key word is unconditional. The key emotion is respect. Any thing less is a recipe for failure.
        The lady in my life gives me happiness and feelings rarely found in the relationships I/We have had. While she is not into the D/s lifestyle that I would like to be involved in, I’m quite okay with the life we have. I haven’t lost those parts of myself that I did in past relationships, nor has she. There is a mutual respect and admiration of each other, that makes things work really well. We truly are best friends.
        I have been with ladies who got the D/s parts, but not the couples parts. Perhaps it’s my perceptions that eff things up…… I guess, you can’t have everything. I respect my partner, but while I wish to be her Dom, I want her to be my equal. I never want her to lose sight of who she is. Because that is who I fell for. That is who I choose. That is who I wish to share the time we have here on earth with, no matter what……………

        Liked by 2 people

      • I completely agree. I have always said that I kneel for my husband, not because he demands it, but because he doesn’t. If I didn’t feel complete and unconditional love, our D/s relationship wouldn’t work. I am his equal in every way. He loves and respects my submission. I love, respect and trust his Dominance. ❤️

        Liked by 2 people

  2. Bravo!!!! In our case it was a door that is was time to open and once we did we discovered a beautiful new room in our home that we found we loved to spend time in.

    I refused from the get-go to be labeled as anything but Rita or follow some set of rules or protocols because my LIFE is too dynamic to let myself be caught up in trying to be anything other than myself.

    We flow with the wind of life and when it blows rough He’s my captain and takes charge of it all. When the seas are calm He’s my senior shipmate with final authority. When He’s tired, sick or hurt I’m His first mate and quite able and willing to take the wheel.

    The heat remains; the frenzy went back in the book box it was came in.

    Liked by 3 people

  3. You had a terrific response to MS. I’m glad you wrote it because that was so recent for you and fresh in your memory!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Acceptance that not everything can always be the way it was, or the way I want it to be, or even that things are far from perfect, has been difficult for me in the recent past. Acceptance that there is a real world in which I need to live a real life has been just as difficult. Perhaps things have a way of working themselves out. I know that I can now fully accept who I used to be, and who my sexual friend used to be. More importantly I now have some idea of where my life is going, what I am prepared to ‘accept’ and what I will just walk away from. Why should any of us do anthing other than strive to life the life we desire?
    You still always turn me on…

    Liked by 2 people

    • You flatter me Sir. ((blushing))
      You are correct, we SHOULD always strive for what we desire. However, sometimes our perfect memories aren’t the perfect reality. We remember all the good and purposely forget the bad that came with it. Always strive for the very best, but remember what is rational and sustainable. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Well expressed. Love the ensuing dialogue that devloped from your post. Well done.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. “First, you have to decide to accept Him and yourself for the flawed individuals that you are.”

    Um… did we read the same post? Everything you were saying sounded about right until this. She was saying she’s not sure if he loves her anymore. That’s not something that warrants an “accept him for the flawed individual he is” response.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I can see where you thought what you did when you read my words. I obviously wasn’t as clear as I should have been. I have been following her blog for quite a while. I was just trying to let her know that all the crazy going on in her head might have an explanation. If he is leaving her feeling unloved, then that is DEFINITELY a flaw he has. However, it could also possibly be the fact that she is so confused that she can’t see the love he is giving. I was just trying to share some of my experience to let her know she isn’t the first to ever experience things like this. I hope that clears up the fact that I never meant that you should accept a lack of love from a partner.

      Like

      • “However, it could also possibly be the fact that she is so confused that she can’t see the love he is giving.”

        Nnnaaah I wouldn’t lean toward that possibility at all. This isn’t on her. There’s no reason to frame it like it’s on her.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Well, here is the problem with this medium, you can take combinations of words and read into them any inflections or meaning you desire, and not necessarily the meaning the writer was trying to express. In oral communication, tone, inflection and emphasis is so important to getting the meaning across. I have no doubt that she will not see my comments as being anything other than loving and kind. I have never, and will never, write anything that assigns blame or intentionally hurts. I appreciate what you are saying, it just was not the meaning behind my words at all.

        Like

      • “I have no doubt that she will not see my comments as being anything other than loving and kind.”

        Sure, that’s not what I’m disputing.

        “I have never, and will never, write anything that assigns blame or intentionally hurts.”

        So you’ve stopped speculating that she’s “failing to see” anything, then?

        Like

  7. BallsyBilly on said:

    Top notch post that I agree with wholeheartedly. The interaction between you and followers very interesting and awesome 🙂
    Right on folks

    Liked by 1 person

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