I was reading the blog Respectfully Submitted tonight. https://marriedsubmissive.wordpress.com/2016/01/21/looking-back/
It really struck me because I had a pretty good idea how she was feeling. Now, I could be completely wrong about that, but I have also felt that same reaction with other blogs I have read. So, I decided to write a short book in her reply box. I thought I would share it here, just in case it could possibly help someone else too.
It sounds like you are suffering through some of the same problems I have experienced. It starts off so hot and frantic. Everything is new and perfect and better than it’s ever been. You just can’t get enough. You have entered “Sub Frenzy”. It’s absolutely euphoric and manic, but COMPLETELY unsustainable.
So, you finally realize that anything other than everything seems like a letdown. You start to almost resent, if not rebel, against this thing that brought you so much joy, which is now letting you down. Something has changed and you feel like it will NEVER be the same.
I think you are right about that. It won’t and can’t be the same. The frenzy feels wonderful, but is unbelievably destructive. We have “Real” lives that still happen and need our attention. So, you retreat from this new way, trying to pull back into your old way of living, but you’re left feeling somewhat lost and less than you ever were before.
I can tell you that you don’t have to stay that way. First, you have to decide to accept Him and yourself for the flawed individuals that you are. Next, you have to get over all the shit spinning around in your head, telling you one thing, then convincing you of the exact opposite. Then, and this is the hardest part, you have to let go and leap. Not into the crazy that you just escaped from, but into the unknown. It is scary but if you are with the one you love more than anyone else, and you communicate, you can find the perfect mix that is Y/you. We have to stop trying to be anything other than who we are with the person that we are with. You don’t have to question His or your every action and reaction. Sometimes, we just have to let go and feel what is. I hope you can take that leap and that you find a soft place to land. The landing can be the VERY BEST part so far.
Decide what is truly important to you, and live for THAT. The rest of the shit will fit in around it, or just roll away. XOXO 🙂