missameliaandsir

Thoughts on an ever-evolving life

Sticks and Stones

Blog post-4-27-2016-Sticks and Stones

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.

BULLSHIT!!

Words can cause some of the worst hurts.  Everyone needs to be careful about what comes pouring off their tongue, because it might just scar someone for life.  I have had a few things said to me that have left marks on my soul.

I was once told by my father that he was very sad because he had always thought I would become something, and it turned out I became nothing.

I was told by my first husband, as he tossed my clothes out the door, that he had found someone prettier and skinnier that made him happier, so he had filed for divorce and I needed to get the fuck out.

A guy I was dating told me that I was really nice to have around until someone special came along.

Now, I’m not telling you these things to get sympathy.  I have just had these thoughts swirling around in my head and wanted to share.

While what my father said was terrible, and no parent should say something like that to their own child, my dad did WAY better by me than was ever done for him.  He had it ROUGH growing up.  There was very little of anything, like food, love, security, or kindness.  He left home, entered the Navy, put himself through college with a wife and a third kid that arrived his Senior year, worked his ass off for very little pay, and eventually made a real name for himself among his peers.  Obviously, he could also be a real Jackass too, but still he tried to be better.  I have made some mistakes with my own children too.  Nothing like the kind my father made, but mistakes none the less.  I just wanted to do better by my kids, and I think I have.  Someday, they will be parents and want to do better by their kids too.  That’s the nature of life, right?

As for the ex-husband, I was 18 and knew everything I needed to know about life when I married him.  But he didn’t realize you had to stop dating.  He got his girlfriend pregnant, and filed for divorce without even telling me.  I was devastated!  He said terrible things to me about all the ways I was inadequate and unattractive to him.  He had found something SO MUCH better.  I would never make any man happy.  Well, the last I had heard, he was on wife number 5.  I guess he’s still looking for perfection.

The other guy, he was just an ass and I dumped him really quick after that little gem.

All three men left serious scars on my self-esteem.  I allowed them to decide who I was and what I was worth.  Even after I met and married my current husband, for years he paid for the pain they caused.  It has only been recently that I have begun taking stock of who I am in my eyes, versus who I think I am in the eyes of others.  My husband is a HUGE part of that.  He sees me so much differently than anyone else ever has.  He sees my flaws, but he cherishes my good attributes.  Disagreement is always delivered with love, and love is NEVER conditional.  That love and support has allowed me to feel safe in exploring who I think I really am.

I’m a fucked up, flawed, stupid, idiotic, Bitch sometimes.  BUT, I’m also a loving, caring, sympathetic, educated, funny, happy, and dedicated wife, mother, daughter, friend, coworker and human being.  I LOVE sex, and to some, I’m a slut.  That word can make me tingle or cause pain, depending on how it’s delivered.  ‘I love you’ usually leaves you feeling good, unless it’s said without the real feeling behind it.  When I say it, I TRULY mean it, ALWAYS.  I still battle my inner voice telling me that I am nothing, I’m not pretty or skinny enough and that I’m not truly special, but I’m doing my very best to shut that Bitch up.

So, words can hurt you and words can heal you.  We must always remember that.

Oh, and we must also remember not to take everything so DAMNED SERIOUSLY!  While simple words can have definite negative and insulting connotations, sometimes people also go over the top in being Politically Correct.  We shouldn’t get a laugh at the expense of others, but if you know a good blonde joke, or something about a housewife whore, or a girl with EXTREMELY large tits, please feel free to tell it to me.  I accept that sometimes things are just funny because they are.  🙂

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46 thoughts on “Sticks and Stones

  1. Those we care for have the power to hurt us, just as we have the power to hurt those who care for us. But, because others use their power unwisely, or without thought, doesn’t mean that we need to be caught in the same trap.
    Jeez, that doesn’t sound like the real me at all.
    I may have become tolerant as I have gotten older….
    Love and kisses, always.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Oh my sweet, BEAUTIFUL, sex-mad, loving, hilarious, calling card girlfriend – you are without question one of the most important sources of PURE JOY AND LOVE (I’m using caps to speak ameliaese) I’ve ever known.

    Words are indeed powerful weapons but love vanquishes those meant to wound. Your powerhouse spirit is overflowing with that love and I’m grateful our paths crossed.

    A blonde with big tits walks into a bar …….

    Liked by 2 people

  3. I’ll agree with Rita…you are a source of joy, laughter, deep thought, aand a myriad emotion….

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Dammit, didn’t mean to hit post! Anyhow…love does help us to mend, and you are most definitely loved! Words do hurt, worse than the physical sort of hurt many times. But I believe the actions that solidify those words, they can be crippling! Sometimes it takes a whole lot of love to begin the reparation process…and it may always leave us with little cracks and fissures….that make us stronger! We mend them, with the love and support from those who were meant to travel our journeys with us. And our experiences allow us to know ourselves so well, and to use that to see the world with compassionate eyes that this world so desperately needs.

    Thanks for sharing, Amelia. 💜

    Liked by 2 people

  5. We need to remember that words from other individuals are their opinion and sometimes a reflection of how they feel about and see themselves. You ARE beautiful, intelligent, a source of joy and inspiration. You words bring laughter as easily as they bring tears. You mean something not to just your husband and family, but also to this virtual family. I (We) cherish your presence and friendship more than you realize.

    NEVER let the words of another cause you to question your self worth. You are more valuable then they will ever know or realize, and they will never have the opportunity to know what we know and experience in your presence – You own the day and you rock!!!

    Liked by 3 people

    • I made the mistake of checking my email at work. I saw that you had commented, so I read it right away. I wasn’t prepared for my reaction. Your words struck me with such kindness, compassion and beauty, that I found myself sitting at my desk, desperately trying not to let the tears overflow from my lashes. I was unsuccessful. You, Sir, are a very kind and loving man. I am truly lucky to have met you. Thank you for making my day brighter just because you are in it. xoxo

      Liked by 2 people

  6. Words are a lot like checks in some respects. Checks are a social agreement made on trust (one’s word ironically enough) between parties.

    How you handle a check is up to you. Did you earn it, is it a gift, is it a dubious surprise….. It is up to you to cash it though. Maybe you earned it, you cashed it and you kept the money. Maybe it’s a gift, something unexpected and sweet, so you cash it and keep the money.

    Maybe though there is something not right. The amount given is wrong, maybe you don’t trust the source, maybe you know it isn’t really meant for you. That’s something you wouldn’t want to cling to. Taking that money would be a decision to lower and risk yourself. Same goes for words, the source and the intent. Careful what you cash.

    Liked by 1 person

    • WOW! That is a GREAT analogy, and so very true. I am deciding to return a lot of checks to their original owners. I don’t need their money, I am fine with my own. However, I will be happy to cash a check from you anytime. I know it will always be good, given with the best intent and always provide that little extra we all need from time to time. xoxo

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Your greatest post. Words hurt so much more thn the physical bruises. And they last a long time. Unfortunately, most men do not know how to talk to women. And others are just too immature to know how to ommunicate appropriately. Sorry, you heard and experienced these things.

    You are an amazing person. Who puts other peoples wants and desires before your own. Your generous heart, talented creative mind, and supportive manner make you a special person. Everyday, we find less people like you in this screwed up world. You are a person who should be treasured, adored, and loved for who she is.

    Again, I am sorry you heard these things. You are a loving woman who deserved to have her caring ways reciprocated. You need to be held, comforted, and told how special you truly are.

    Sending all my love, hugs, and est wishes out to you. Hope everyday brings a new comfort to you. May the pains from countless yesterdays be erased with time. I hope your tears wash away with tomorrw’s rains. Be well. Hugs.

    Sorry, I have been too busy. This has been hell week. Hope to be back to normal next Tuesday. xoxoxo

    Liked by 1 person

    • Oh, my loving Chimp. You bring so much love and affection to my life. Your huge heart and your willingness to express all the kindness you posses, fills my soul and helps heal all those nasty scars. I don’t know about this being my greatest piece, but I do know it was a necessary one to help me continue on my journey to self acceptance and love. Thank you SO much for being part of that journey. XOXOXO

      Like

  8. Professor Wild on said:

    I have to concur wholeheartedly with all those who have commented, particularly the Lonely Author. You are an amazing person, and you prove that time and again, day in and day out. It took a little while for me to realize the depths to which your past interactions with a few select people have really hurt you deeply, and given you scars to carry forward. But it has always been apparent to me how the great people in your life have helped shape you into the loving, caring, capable woman that I am so fortunate to call mine.

    One of the greatest things to have come from this post is that you wrote it, and posted it, and shared it with everyone. When we air these things that have hurt us out in the open, and place them in the bright light of the sunshine, we take their power away. I am proud of you my love, for taking yet another step toward putting the hurt of past people in a place where it can live, but cannot hurt you anymore. Bravo, my beautiful Amelia.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. XandrewX on said:

    Madam as always you’ve written a Post which lingers in the mind, I could give hundreds of instances where someone’s words have wounded me then again I understand I’m far tooo sensitive and take things far tooo seriously 🙂

    On a lighter note this one made me laugh!

    ‘My wife doesn’t like me to shave my face for the same reason I like her to shave her pussy. She says it makes me look like a 12 year old.’

    HOWEVER the longer you read the more ‘dodgy’ the joke becomes and that got me to thinking, as you do, why is it men prefer shaved pussy’s? More hygienic as one is licking yes but they do look more appealing bald! 😀 Just a thought.

    Liked by 1 person

    • XandrewX on said:

      Just risen, breakfast bowl and coffee by my side and WP Reader on my laptop………. all I can say is above wasn’t the greatest reply I’ve ever written and not as funny as I’d first thought!

      Liked by 1 person

      • It made me laugh, if that helps. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      • XandrewX on said:

        Phew 😀 thank goodness!!! All my life I’ve worked in Factory ‘Toolrooms’, workplace’s for better or worse full of men only and as you can imagine I’ve heard the funniest filthiest sexist most misogynistic jokes you will ever hear and that’s from married men with daughter’s!!! Yet I live in fear of offending ladies? HOWEVER WP has been an education this last year cause the fair sweet lady sex are just as frigging bad lol.

        I’m tooo sensitive for my own good. x

        Liked by 1 person

      • I was a Firefighter/Paramedic and worked in a Fire House full of men. I am pretty sure that I will never hear anything more disgusting or inappropriate than I heard there. 🙂

        Liked by 2 people

    • Thank you. Saying it lingers in your mind is a GREAT compliment. Just working on cleaning some old shit out of the attic. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  10. BallsyBilly on said:

    This is one of your best posts to date and at the top of my list of favs.
    Sticks and stone can hurt, but heal very easily. They may scar, I have a few to prove it, but it just gives character.
    But, hurtful words never really heal Or if they do they leave hideous scars! People should always think before they speak. Especially when it comes to loved one.
    Once it’s said, no amount of apologies can totally fix things, just a temporary mend.
    No one should be a word bully, they can be the worst kind!
    Btw If anyone speaks ill of you, send them my way and I kick their ASS!
    You are much loved miss a ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you SO MUCH, my very special friend. You are completely correct that no amount of apologies can ever fix a harsh, thoughtful word. I know I have delivered a couple of them myself, and those are probably the only things I truly regret in my life.
      I also can’t stop smiling because when you tell me that you would kick the ass of someone being mean to me, I KNOW you mean it. Thank you for that. Knowing I have such amazing people at my back helps me continue to charge forward and fight to find myself.
      And Sir, You are loved very much too. XOXOXO

      Liked by 1 person

  11. BallsyBilly on said:

    Btw We loves great writers who are sluts with big tits ❤ 😉

    Liked by 1 person

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