To Hell and Back: The Other Woman

In the greater scheme of my life, the woman my husband slept with has become completely insignificant to me.  I have not uttered a word to her since the morning before she slept with my husband, and I never will again.  Oh, it’s been hard not to tell her EXACTLY what I think sometimes.  I did write a post about her on March 28, https://missameliaandsir.wordpress.com/2016/03/28/it-took-nerve-to/ .  It was actually not so much about her, but an outlet for some of my anger and frustrations. She has continued to attempt to insert herself into our lives several times since.  I don’t even care to go into much detail, as I am refusing to give her ANY power anymore.  I am going to move forward and have no regrets leaving her in my dust trail.

The relationship between all of us was very long, 30+ years between Professor and her and 20+ years between her and I, and full of many ups and downs.  She was recently served divorce papers from her husband on their 30^th wedding anniversary.  She has been spiraling ever since.  In my post, you will read about a few of the actions she has taken that I have had a very hard time with, fucking my husband of course being the most disturbing.

Professor has completely removed her from his life too.  It’s funny, but I feel kind of bad about that.  Not many people have a 30+ year friendship to talk about.  He has never once complained about it though.  He has done everything to show me that I am his priority and she was just a one night drunk fuck.

I am sure she will continue to pop up in our lives.  She sent me a text the morning after everything happened, while my husband was on his way to find me.  It said, “Sorry.  Hope we can talk about it soon.”  Six weeks later she sent an email outlining all the things she thought that I had done wrong, informing me that she had already apologized and wouldn’t be doing it again.  I kind of thought that 20+ years of friendship deserved more than a 30 character text.  I knew right then, without a doubt, I was DONE!  She has been telling people bold face lies about me, but at this point, if they choose to believe her, whatever.  She sent another email about a month and a half ago, informing us that she had no desire to ever speak with us again and wanted nothing to do with us ever.  Of course, she sent this email while sitting on my father-in-law’s couch.  She had driven 9 hours down to where he lived to spend a weekend.  They only knew each other via my husband, but she thought this was appropriate.  He called Professor after she left and informed him that she was crazy.  I just want her to go away and stay away.

What I have learned from all of this is that you need to pay close attention to who your REAL friends are.  I hadn’t been happy with her in my life for a very long time, but I maintained the friendship for my husband.  He had just accepted her and her husband for who they were, and I tried very hard to do the same.  However, I never got anything of real value back, and am now sorry that I wasted all those years trying to nurture something that didn’t deserve it.  It’s important to do things and accept some things just because they are important to your spouse, but make sure you don’t do it at the expense of your marriage or yourself.

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