Thoughts on an ever-evolving life

Archive for the month “November, 2016”


Blog Post-11-24-2016-Thankful.jpg

I am thankful for my Family
And Friends.

I am grateful for Love
And Pleasure
I don’t want to end.

I am gratified by Sunrises
Great food
And extra time

I am appreciative of Laughter
And the freedom of writing rhyme

I am excited by kink
And a good roll in the hay

I am glad for lessons of the past
The promises of tomorrow
The adventures of the unknown
And the beauty of today.

Happy Thanksgiving and Love to You All!





Out with the veiled
In with the new
My rebirth
Won’t include you.

Years and experiences
Love and great laughter
Were shared in the past
But not from hereafter.

You will always hold
A special place in my heart
But we no longer work
And I must depart.

When we are together
I feel hidden on a shelf
I refuse to remain concealed
I must reveal my true self.

I wish you only the best
Out on your own
But you will no longer
Be my home.


**Please know this was inspired by a conversation with a friend and that Professor and I are doing just fine.

My Heart Aches


The tragic accident in Chattanooga has left my heart heavy and hurting. As we approach the day set aside to be thankful, At least five families will be planning funerals and another dozen more sit next to hospital beds praying for their children.

This past week, I received a phone call that sent my heart racing. My son had been in a car accident. Both cars were totaled, but all parties walked away. We were lucky. The families in Chattanooga were not all as blessed.

It also brought to mind that on Thanksgiving, eight years ago, we received a letter. My mother in law had died in August and it was from the organ donation organization at the hospital. It was a letter from the recipient of my mother in laws corneas. She was the mother of two small children and had lost her eyesight two years earlier, due to a rare eye infection. The transplant had worked and for the first time in two years, she would watch her children open their gifts on Christmas morning. I can’t tell you how that made us all feel. Our loss was unavoidable but this family had given us a reason to feel a tiny bit better about our pain. If you are not an organ donor, PLEASE consider it. Talk with your family, and let them know your wishes. My mother in law did, and we have a lovely letter we will cherish forever because of her selflessness.

So, as you gather with family, please keep these families in your thoughts and remember just how lucky you truly are. My heart, prayers and love go out to these families.




Light the fire
Burn the fuel
Ignite the flames
Forget the rules

Feel the explosion
Let the volcano erupt
See the lava flow
Feel everything heating up

The fever is intense
Please don’t let it end
Take me to the edge
Push me to my oblivion

When the fierce flames
Are finally out
Leave me in ashes
To You, forever devout



I am here
With nowhere to go
On a journey
To where, unknown.

I have roots
And wings to fly
To unknown places
Through the sky.

I know where I’ve been
But not where I am
I have a vision
But no plan.

I will pay the toll
And exact the cost
Because even though I’m here
I am lost.

**this was written after a conversation with a friend. I am doing just fine. xoxoxo

Cum for Me

blog-post-11-20-2016-cum-for-meI’m alone
With only my thoughts
Of You
As the passion
Begins to rise
I hear
Your silent whisper

Increasing my hunger
And overwhelming desire
For Your touch
I feel the memories
Of Your Sadistic tortures
Upon my flushed
And aching skin

Effortlessly and naturally
I assume Your position
Kneeling on the ground
As I drip
Wet, Hot, Need
Upon the floor

Ultimate relief comes
As my touch
Becomes Your touch
And again
You Whisper
In my ear
“Cum for Me”

Thank you Sir

Quick Check In


Just thought I would give a quick update of where I was in controlling my crazy.


Don’t misunderstand, life is NOT perfect, but it is so much better. Finally discovering and admitting that I was suffering from depression was a serious blow to everything I thought about myself and my life. I have discovered that I am NOT super-human. I am NOT invincible. I do NOT have to meet every need of every person I ever come in contact with. I can NOT do everything by myself. I do NOT have to say yes to every request for my time and attention.

I have learned that I CAN say no. I AM a good person even when I do say no. I CAN ask for help and accept it when I need it, even when I don’t. I AM perfect with all my imperfections. I AM a good person and I deserve good things.

There have been steps backwards and will be hard times ahead, but for the first time in a LONG time, I’m ready to face them. The recent election has proven that to me. The results broke my heart, but they didn’t break me. In fact, they only increased my resolve to continue to get stronger and fight harder.

My marriage has taken a turn for the better too. My husband NEVER left my side, but things did get really rough. Whenever we tried to address anything, my body reacted by going to sleep, sometimes mid-conversation. It was my brains response to feeling overwhelmed. Now, we are talking as deep as, if not deeper than we ever have and I have no need to snore mid-sentence.

I wanted to share this because so many of you have contacted me and sent such warmth and love, that I wanted the opportunity to say thank you and let you know your wishes have only helped me recover and grow stronger. It is wonderful how love can provide so much more strength than hate ever could.

For anyone that might be suffering from depression or just feeling out of control and heavy, GET HELP!! You are NOT crazy, you are just sick. I think mental illness is better understood now than at any other point in history, but there is still a resistance to address is openly by many, including me. Just because my illness was in my head, doesn’t make it any less damaging than if I had cancer or a major traumatic injury. Know you are NOT alone and there IS help out there. If you don’t find it in the first place you look for help, keep looking. Life can be better, happy and worth living again, PROMISE!!


So THANK YOU to everyone out there for reading, commenting, loving and supporting me through this. Now I’m finally feeling ready to getting back to the TRULY important things, writing fun, sexy stories! 🙂


I Have this Feeling


I have this feeling
A feeling I can’t explain
A feeling that consumes me
A feeling like nothing I have ever known.

It’s an ache
It’s an urge
It’s a pain
Or an overwhelming desire.

It flows
And rushes
And pulses
And devours me whole.

I love it
I hate it
I crave it
And I curse it over and over again.

Not until You arrive
Not until I feel Your touch
Not until I surrender to You
Will this feeling be defined.

Pursue Me


Court me like you did
When you won my heart
With your attentive charm
Securing we would never part

Pursue me

You claimed my love
Heart and soul
It was incredible knowing
Into the twilight we would stroll

Pursue me

We’ve been together
For decades now
We’ve built a family
And exchanged our vows

Pursue me

You’ve become comfortable
And sometimes complacent
You don’t woo me
Or make adoring statements

Pursue me

Make me feel special
Make me feel desired
Take my breath away
Light me on fire

Pursue me

Don’t contently wait for me
To make the first move
Let me know what you want
And ignite the mood

Pursue me

I’m not asking for grandeur
Or dozens of roses
Just special gestures
And the feeling it imposes

Pursue me

I’m here forever
Until we reach our end
I just want to be beloved
And to each other attend

Pursue me

I want to feel passion
And intensity in life
Remind me you are still happy
I am your wife

Pursue me

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