missameliaandsir

Thoughts on an ever-evolving life

Archive for the category “Best New Things”

SECURITY!!

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Professor and I are traveling. We are out of state, spending some time with my Bestie and her family!! After dropping our daughter off at camp, we made our way to the airport, excited to have a few days of relaxation and fun.

Being summer, the airports are almost always busy, but we were very pleased when we arrived and were able to quickly get us, and our bag, checked in. We decided to go ahead and get through security and then have a bite to eat before our flight. We were again very pleased to find the lines through security to be fairly short, so we jumped in line, rapidly made our way through the cattle maze and advanced into the security screening.

Shoes off, pockets emptied and bags going down the conveyor belt, I enter the scanner and assume the position. I am quickly and easily waved on through and focus on getting to our belongings, sitting on the end of the belt.

I look back to see Professor emerging from the scanner, but he is being pulled to the side. I hear the agent asking him if he would like to go to a private area for a full pat down. Professor and I both look confused, but he says, “No, just get it over with here. May I ask what the problem is?” The security guard firmly answers that the scanner picked up something in his right pocket and pant leg. Professor quickly pulls his pocket out of his denim shorts and shows that it is completely empty. Security still insist that they must check because there was an object detected. Professor tells him fine and the agent begins patting him down.

Using the back of his hand, he begins felling around his waist, proceeds down his hips, up the inside of his thighs and ends with a surprised, “Oh!” as he runs up the right front of Professors pants.

At this moment, I come to the realization that the scanner had picked up the bulge of Professors ENORMOUS penis down his right leg! He no longer wears underwear, so his junk often creeps down his leg. I have to admit that I almost wet myself laughing at this moment. Professor couldn’t help but smile and let out his own laugh as security waved him on.

So, my friends, we now have national security proof that I am one VERY LUCKY GIRL!!

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London

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OMGAWD!!!

What a WONDERFUL TRIP!!

Professor and I, our daughter and my mother just returned from an Amazing trip to London. Our first!

I won’t bore everyone with the details, but some of the highlights were:
The Tower of London
ALL the Beautiful Bridges
A fun Bus tour through all the Burroughs
The London Zoo
The Museum of Natural History
RADA (Royal Academy of Dramatic Art)
The Tate Modern
Shakespeare’s Globe Theater
And the Spectacular Rail systems they have in place.

Here are a few of the pictures we were lucky enough to capture.

 

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Beautiful Flight

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British Parliament

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Black-Capped Squirrel Monkey with its two week old baby clinging to its back.

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Big Ben

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Big Ben

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Shakespeare’s Globe Theater

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Artistic shot by my daughter of Hay’s Galleria, a former slip for tea ships.

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The Tower of London

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Tower Bridge

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LOVED this Place! It was only missing U!

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The Shard

Zip It!

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OMFGAWD!!
I DID IT!!
I CONQUERED THE ZIP LINE COURSE!!

For those who don’t know, this Bitch is TERRIFIED of heights. Always have been. Recently, since coming to terms with my own depression, and helping my daughter battle hers, I have decided to say “Fuck It” whenever possible, and practical. SO, this last weekend, when Professor and I went away for a much needed couple’s weekend, I planned a surprise. We went to a 5 line course near where we were staying. He couldn’t believe I was even going to attempt it, and actually, neither did I. This is where my new “Fuck It” attitude came into play.
As my knees knocked and my stomach tried desperately to purge itself of all contents, I suited up and did the first short zip. Our guides were AFUCKINGMAZING and helped me fly. It was easy and I was smiling when I reached the end.
We were informed that we had to have a Zip Call Name, so I quickly became Vixen. No surprise there.
The second zip wasn’t too bad either. A little higher and faster, but completely doable.
The third zip sent you even higher, further and ended up in a tree on a platform. I must admit I was beginning to shake even more, but I did it.
The fourth zip took you through the tree tops and was the longest yet. I had already come this far, so I flew again.
Now comes the fifth zip. That son of a bitch is 44 feet further than a quarter mile, and sails you way up over the tree tops. The picture above is actually of that run. I decided I wasn’t going to chicken out now, so I took a deep breath and jumped. My heart was racing even faster than I was whizzing along, but the views were spectacular, the wind in my face was glorious and as I arrived on the other side, Professor greeted me with a HUGE smile, hug, kiss and possibly a tear threatening to overflow. To see the pride on his face made every shaky moment TOTALLY worth it!
Would I do it again you ask? The answer is yes, but can’t say it’s something I plan on doing on any kind of regular basis. I conquered a fear that has held me back in the past. I still have fears, and probably always will, but from now on, sometimes, I’m just going to say “Fuck It” and Fly!!

Watch Out London…

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…Here I Come!!

We just booked our tickets to fly over for a quick family trip to London this summer! I’ve never been and my daughter is SO EXCITED!! It has been on her bucket list since second grade. She is a HUGE Shakespeare fan, has many of his pieces memorized and has always wanted to go see a play at the Globe. We surprised her with tickets to see Twelfth Night at the Globe and she is beside herself with excitement. We only get to stay for a short 5 days, so if anyone has any MUST DO suggestions, I would LOVE to hear them. We want to give her the biggest bang that we can during our short time there. Thanks for any and all help!

SERIOUSLY!!??

500 Follows!

Don’t you 500 people have anything better to do?  Well, if I have provided you with entertainment or information, I’m Happy!!  If my wicked writing has just tantalized your….I’m Thrilled!!  Thank you to all that have read, commented and become friends via this interesting medium!  Can’t wait to see what comes next!

I Got a New Sex Hutch!

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I am SO EXCITED!!

I have been looking for just the right piece of furniture to put in my bedroom, to store all our fun toys, and I have finally found it. It’s not all full yet, but I couldn’t wait to show you. I have already assigned all my drawers.

The Insertion Drawer

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The Deprivation and Clamp Drawer

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The Bondage Drawer

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The Jellies, Lubes and Oils Cabinet

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The Impact Drawer

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Towel Storage

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Dear 2016

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Dear 2016,

I just wanted to drop you a quick letter to let you know how much you have meant to me. I knew our time together was limited, but we were able to pack SO MUCH into our quick 365 days.

We started off the year with quite a bang, when you delivered a little infidelity and a death into my life. It cost me a Grandmother and what I thought was a friend. It almost cost me a marriage, but luckily, that was saved. It was a truly cruel joke to play, but by playing it at the beginning of the year gave us plenty of time to work through it.

The way you orchestrated such AMAZING things for my daughter was quite brilliant. The wins at Drama Districts and then having her compete at State made for a magnificent experience. Watching her perform on stage was lovely. Her love of the outdoors and animals was nourished by your choices. Can’t say that I was thrilled when you made our daughter eligible to drive. And finally, thank you for your choices in friends for her. I approved.

As for my son, you let him travel rather unscathed this year, until you decided to crash him and his truck into that lady. I didn’t particularly appreciate that, but at least you let everyone walk away, so thank you for that.

You took my husband and myself on several wonderful trips.
We were able to visit our crazy friends in Colorado. I knew she was crazy before we went, but after meeting in person, I have decided he must be too. Either that, or he is up for Sainthood, but knowing the things they do, I doubt that is the case.
We got to hang with my Soul Sister and her husband both here and at their house. Bringing them into our lives was quite the gift. You know EXACTLY what you had planned for us, and what we did! THANKS!!! 😉
When you gave us the two week camping trip, I must admit, I was skeptical. Two weeks in a trailer? Well, you were right and it was AFUCKINGMAZING!! You provided Good Friends, Lots of Laughs, Awesome Music and time to work on repairing your beginning of year gift. All were Priceless.
Burning Man was a last second surprise! All I can say is WOW!!!

The people I you peppered throughout the year were such a wonderful variety of flavors. Crazy in Colorado. Zesty in Arizona. HOT and Spicy under my covers. Tempting in California. Tantalizing in Tennessee. Mouthwatering in Montana. Delectable in Michigan. Georgia is a Peach (schnapps of course). Nutty in New England. And the flavors go on and on. YUMMY!!

The biggest bombshell of the year was when you finally made me realize that I was suffering from severe depression. I think you were in cahoots with 2015 and possibly 2014. I appreciate you putting an end to the cruel joke and getting me help. Make sure 2017 knows everything so we won’t have to tell 2018 anything.

This year you provided laughter, tears, terror, relief, confusion, clarity, anger, happiness ups, downs, goods, bads and, most importantly, LOVE. LOTS and LOTS of LOVE!! I won’t say I’m happy to see you go, but I also know you can’t stay. I hope that 2017 will provide even more adventures to enjoy. Thank you 2016. I will NEVER forget you.

Love & Memories
Me

Happy Birthday Rita!

These are just a few of the ways I wanted this AFUCKINGMAZING Woman to know she is Loved on her Birthday!  Love you Bitch!  XOXOXO

Quick Check In

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Just thought I would give a quick update of where I was in controlling my crazy.

I’m FUCKING GREAT!!!

Don’t misunderstand, life is NOT perfect, but it is so much better. Finally discovering and admitting that I was suffering from depression was a serious blow to everything I thought about myself and my life. I have discovered that I am NOT super-human. I am NOT invincible. I do NOT have to meet every need of every person I ever come in contact with. I can NOT do everything by myself. I do NOT have to say yes to every request for my time and attention.

I have learned that I CAN say no. I AM a good person even when I do say no. I CAN ask for help and accept it when I need it, even when I don’t. I AM perfect with all my imperfections. I AM a good person and I deserve good things.

There have been steps backwards and will be hard times ahead, but for the first time in a LONG time, I’m ready to face them. The recent election has proven that to me. The results broke my heart, but they didn’t break me. In fact, they only increased my resolve to continue to get stronger and fight harder.

My marriage has taken a turn for the better too. My husband NEVER left my side, but things did get really rough. Whenever we tried to address anything, my body reacted by going to sleep, sometimes mid-conversation. It was my brains response to feeling overwhelmed. Now, we are talking as deep as, if not deeper than we ever have and I have no need to snore mid-sentence.

I wanted to share this because so many of you have contacted me and sent such warmth and love, that I wanted the opportunity to say thank you and let you know your wishes have only helped me recover and grow stronger. It is wonderful how love can provide so much more strength than hate ever could.

For anyone that might be suffering from depression or just feeling out of control and heavy, GET HELP!! You are NOT crazy, you are just sick. I think mental illness is better understood now than at any other point in history, but there is still a resistance to address is openly by many, including me. Just because my illness was in my head, doesn’t make it any less damaging than if I had cancer or a major traumatic injury. Know you are NOT alone and there IS help out there. If you don’t find it in the first place you look for help, keep looking. Life can be better, happy and worth living again, PROMISE!!

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So THANK YOU to everyone out there for reading, commenting, loving and supporting me through this. Now I’m finally feeling ready to getting back to the TRULY important things, writing fun, sexy stories! 🙂

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Dirty Ride

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I just returned from a 12 day adventure with my husband that ended at a four day Country Music Festival.  While there, we went to see Chase Rice perform and he sang THIS song.  I swear I about completely squirmed out of not only my chair, but my panties too.  He is FUCKING HOT and this song is AFUCKINGMAZING!!  Thought I would share.

Be warned, it’s a serious panty soaker.  😉

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uYhW7Jsrw-0&noredirect=1

Blog Post-8-3-2016-Dirty Ride

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