missameliaandsir

Thoughts on an ever-evolving life

Archive for the category “Friendship”

Christmas Eve

It’s Christmas Eve. The tree twinkles with white lights. The stockings hang awaiting their bounty. Gifts are wrapped, cookies baked and the smells of Christmas waft through the rooms. Everyone is scurrying around doing last minute chores, shopping or wrapping, except me. I sit her at my computer, wanting to give thanks and put into words, how I’m feeling this Holiday.


Four years ago, on Christmas, I ran away from home. I felt lost, desperate, confused, and I hate to admit, but suicidal. I fled in the middle of the night, with nowhere to go, so I found myself checking into a hotel just down the road from my house, where my family slept. I can remember climbing into the bed in that room, and closing my eyes, hoping to never awaken. Thankfully, I did.


I awoke to the phone ringing in my room. It was the front desk telling me there was someone in the lobby, claiming to be my husband, that wanted to see me. I told them I’d be right down. Apparently, when he woke and found me gone, he had spent the night attempting to find me and finally tracked my credit card to the hotel. We talked. Can’t say we accomplished anything except he made it crystal clear that he would NOT leave me alone until I came home. So, I did, arriving before anyone else was awake and all still oblivious of my insanity flight the night before.


I tell this story because I have come out the other side of that and am feeling blessed and my heart is full again. It’s taken a Ton of work, even more tears and a willingness on everyone’s part to pick up, move forward and heal. Mostly, it’s been up to me to change the dialogue in my head.
It never mattered what anyone said to me or about me, I was instantly ready to give a list of the reasons that I was ugly, bad and unworthy. Some of that negative self-talk came from what others had said to me, but mostly it was about what I had told myself. While that nasty voice still rears its ugly head, I have learned things I can do to quiet its ass quickly now.


I have a husband I wouldn’t have survived without. My two kids are my entire world and I couldn’t be prouder of them. I am still a bit estranged from my mom, but I guess we are working on it, so that’s something. And I have a group of friends that will call me on my bullshit, give me their sleeve to wipe away my tears and hold my hair after a night out of nothing but fun and laughter. What more could anyone ask for?


So, I am going to enjoy the remainder of today and tomorrow, celebrating with my family. After that, I have no idea what will happen, but I do know that I am excited about the possibilities and look forward to the adventure. Merry Christmas to you and yours and may 2020 be your BEST YEAR Yet!!

Checking In

Finding the time to write anything recently has been almost impossible. I found myself with a few free minutes between quarters of the football game, and decided to at least do a quick check in.

Just returned from moving my daughter 3000 miles away to college. I will miss her desperately, but it is EXACTLY where she needs to be and is already thriving and finding success. Will be needing to sell a couple kidneys, part of my liver and possibly a lung or two to pay for it, but it’s TOTALLY worth it.

Right before that, I had a pleasant surprise come my way. My Bestie was coming to visit, but found out work was sending her to Florida for a few days. She invited me to tag along. After more discussion, we decided to each bring our kiddos and make it a getaway for the four of us, before the two of them both went off to college. To say we had fun would be a HUGE understatement. We ate AMAZING food, walked through sudden panty drenching rainstorm, held alligators, went on airboat ride through the Everglades, did an Escape room, ate at Medieval Times, saw Blue Man Group, rode a 400 foot Ferris wheel, spent a day at Universal Islands of Adventure and ended the trip with a day at Discovery Cove swimming with dolphins. DEFINITELY a trip we will NEVER Forget!

Spent the rest of the summer traveling and hanging at home. Trips included Arizona, Montana, California, Idaho, California again, Arizona again, Montana again, Florida, Georgia and additional trips for my kids to California and China.

Hopefully, things will slow a bit now. Getting back into a routine feels good. Although, I’m ALWAYS looking for my next adventure.

So much more I’d like to write, but out of time again. Hope everyone is well, happy and living your best life.

XOXOXO

The Final Chapter

Now, I have to close the book,
And place it up high on a shelf.

I never wanted the story to end,
But I’ve reached the final page.

No story continues forever,
No matter how badly we want it to.

Someday, I will be able to recall the details
And remember the chapters
With a smile instead of tears.

Goodbye My Past Love

Goodbye my love
You entered my life
Consumed my heart
And changed my life

Goodbye my love
You showed me your heart
Made me want more
And took my breath away

Goodbye my love
You had been wounded
I wanted to be different
And promised forever and always

Goodbye my love
You took me to new elevations
Walked with me through the pouring rain
And frolicked in the sweltering heat

Goodbye my love
You quickly changed
Berated and discarded me
And I wept heavy tears

Goodbye my love
You sucked me back in
Gave me reason to hope
And repeatedly took it all away

Goodbye my love
You now own a piece of my heart
My Forever and Always is real
And I Never wanted it to end

Goodbye my love
You aren’t sure of your feelings now
I will help clarify
And confirm your self-imposed prophecy

Goodbye my past love
Goodbye

Now What?

What do you do if you and someone you love, just can’t see eye to eye on a matter? You can understand that they are hurt, want to make things better, but just doesn’t understand why they are holding on so tightly to this pain? You apologize, listen, support and discuss, but still just don’t see the situation exactly like they do?

I’m experiencing that right now, and I am at a loss as to what to do. I want things to be better. I want things to be healed. I want to help in anyway I can, but I’m struggling to find common ground.

This someone is working EXTREMELY hard to find a way to manage the hurt they are feeling. They are doing everything they should and can to make it better for everyone. I know they want the pain to end as much as, if not more than, I do.

Unfortunately, no matter what we do, we have one situation that we both see through completely different lenses. I don’t have any answers, but I do know one thing to be COMPLETELY True, no matter what happened, is happening or will happen, I will do whatever I can because the Love is stronger than any hurt, we could possibly experience.

Now What?

Forbidden Paradise

Dick
Dice
And Dominant Daddies

Enticement
Exploration
And Explosive Ecstasy

Pleasure
Pain
And Provocative Photography

Sweet
Sour
And Salivating Sex

Touch
Taste
And Tantalizing Torture

A Weekend away in Forbidden Paradise

One Night with You (for My Lonely)

IMG_5166

One night with you,
I can picture it so clearly in my mind.
We talk over a glass of wine,
Laughing, learning and absorbing each other’s details and dreams.
Dinner lingers for hours,
The brush of a hand,
The blush of a cheek,
The nervous tension palpable.
As chairs are placed upon the tables,
We take our cue to leave.
I can fell the tingle through my body as you help me with my coat,
And your hand brushes the back of my neck.
The awkward moment as we stand by my car,
Wondering if you will kiss me.
My breath completely taken as you don’t even ask,
Just stepping forward, taking my face in your tender hands,
And our lips gently touching for our first kiss.

One night with you,
I can picture it so clearly in my mind.
The excitement of meeting,
Instantly explodes into uncontrollable combustion.
No need for words as lips part,
Tongues dance,
Moans are uttered,
And Passion is overpoweringly ignited.
There is no perception of time or space,
As we begin our night of hedonistic destruction.
My body aches with every touch,
Stinging from the pain delivered and yearning from the increasing need.
I am breathless, trembling with anticipation and my juices are flowing,
As you passionately claim me as yours and we become one.
Time halts, the earth no longer rotates,
Bodies wrecked, souls consumed, desires are sated,
And only our ashes remain.

One night with you,
I can picture it clearly in my mind,
And one will NEVER be enough.

Tell Your Bitch…

Blog Post-9-16-2018-Tell Your Bitch

Tell your Bitch I hope she’s happy
I hope she feels great pride
Because her jealousy took you from me
And a part of me has died

Tell your Bitch I didn’t want to steal you
Or claim you as my own
We were just great companions
When she selfishly left you all alone

Tell your Bitch you did it
Blindsiding and catching me unaware
In a pathetic and heartless text
You crushed a friendship beyond repair

Tell your Bitch that she can have you
Until her cold and bitter end
But when again she fucks you over
I will no long be your friend

The BBQ – Chapter 1

the-bbq-1of-12

June is the perfect month for a BBQ.  The cold, biting evenings are over, the semester has ended, and everyone is gearing up for a three month break.  The annual End-of-Spring-Term party at the Professor’s house signaled the official beginning of summer.  It had become somewhat of a town legend for its food, frivolities and festivities.  His students looked forward with great anticipation to the year they would be invited.  The Professor and his wife, Miss Amelia, always had a horde of additional friends who made sure their calendars were clear, so they were able to attend every year too.  This year would be no different for any of them, except Amelia.

For weeks now, Amelia had been planning, preparing, shopping and cooking for the big party happening that night.  Every table was set, every chair arranged, every dish placed just so, and the refrigerator was full of enough food to feed everyone coming tonight, plus at least 100 more.  With everything in its proper place, it was time for her to go prepare herself, before the guests started arriving.

She convinced herself that she had more than enough time for a quick shower.  She retreated to the master bathroom where she slowly undressed, turned on the shower and climbed in.  The hot water felt amazing as she stood and let the pounding streams run over her head, down her neck, over her ample breasts, across her belly and down her slightly parted legs to the shower floor.  Feeling the ecstasy of the water and the warmth, she picked up the bar of soap and traced the same path down her body, stopping to pay a little extra attention to her large, stimulated breasts and her clean shaven, smooth mound.  Knowing she didn’t have the time to completely satisfy her growing desires, she rinsed, turned off the water and grabbed a fluffy bath towel to dry.

While she was quickly putting the finishing touches on her hair and make-up, she heard a noise coming from the bedroom.  “Who is it?”

“It’s me, my love,” was the casual reply from Professor.  “Are you about finished?  Guests will be arriving soon.”

“Yes, I am just about finished.  I just need to get dressed.  I am on my way out.”  She hung up her towel and walked briskly into the bedroom.  When she rounded the corner, she stopped suddenly and let out a gasp.  Standing in front of her was not her husband, but a dear family friend with a very familiar look in his eyes.  Professor was nowhere to be seen.  She instantly began contorting her body to hide her naked and exposed parts, but quickly realized it was a futile effort.  There she stood, naked and staring straight into the eyes of Richard.  Without saying a word, he stepped up to her, caressed her face in his strong hands and kissed her.  She knew those lips and their deep, passionate and familiar taste.  Her knees suddenly felt like they were buckling under her, but instead of falling, two other strong hands grabbed her from behind and held her upright.  From the dark walk-in closet, Professor had appeared with that same familiar, smoldering look in his eyes.

 

To be continued…

 

Rendezvous with My BFF

Blog Post 9-25-2017-Rendezvous with My BFF

I searched the world
Far and wide
For that perfect match
To stand by my side

Some came and went
Never quite true
And then it happened
I finally met you

Don’t exactly know how it happened
But I know it was a divine act
That brought us together
And placed us on this mutual path

The connection was almost instant
Yet we both couldn’t help but protect
Our fragile little hearts
That had formerly been wrecked

Once I knew this thing was for real
Not fleeting or just the latest craze
It became crystal clear we would absolutely
Be BFFs Forever and Always

You quickly became the sister
I had always wished for
We had so much in common
Same thoughts, experiences and both being whores

You continuously make me laugh
And occasionally make me cry
But the love I have for you
Will never waver or die

So my dearest BFF
I write this little thing just for you
As a token of my affection
Until our next delicious rendezvous

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