missameliaandsir

Thoughts on an ever-evolving life

Archive for the category “Grief”

Wake Me

Wake me from this nightmare
I seem trapped in
With every breath I take

Wake me from this isolation
The loneliness of millions
Dismissed by the doubters

Wake me from this turmoil
Unfolding around me
Day in and day out

Wake me from this pain
Crushing the world
With sorrow and hate

Wake me from this travesty
Of lives senselessly lost
Multiplying by the second

Wake me from this chaos
A world stripped barren
Of unconditional love

Wake me.

I’m So Very Sad

I’m So Very Sad. Yesterday, our great friends lost their home to a wildfire. He was the Best Man at our wedding. Everything is gone. They moved there 23 years ago and lived in a wall-tent for the first couple years while they built a rough shell of a home. Since then, they have continued to work on their house, barn and beautiful farm full of fruits, vegetables and animals. In one night, those years of sweat were completely erased into ashes.

We can step back and remember that all family members, human and animal, survived. That will ALWAYS be the most important part. But now what?

I am feeling so very helpless, wondering what to do for them. They have no idea what they even need yet. They can’t wrap their heads around this themselves. It’s a very destitute feeling for everyone.

I have no doubt that they will successfully move forward. They are strong people with a community of friends and family behind them. But for now, we all feel numb.

My Heart Aches

My heart aches
As it breaks
Missing you

My heart is lost
It’s the cost
Of loving you

My heart extends
As it mends
Getting over you

I’m Just Fine

I’m just Fine.

I may not be happy

or successful

or special

or fulfilled

or ever enough

But I’ll be just Fine.

The Final Chapter

Now, I have to close the book,
And place it up high on a shelf.

I never wanted the story to end,
But I’ve reached the final page.

No story continues forever,
No matter how badly we want it to.

Someday, I will be able to recall the details
And remember the chapters
With a smile instead of tears.

Goodbye My Past Love

Goodbye my love
You entered my life
Consumed my heart
And changed my life

Goodbye my love
You showed me your heart
Made me want more
And took my breath away

Goodbye my love
You had been wounded
I wanted to be different
And promised forever and always

Goodbye my love
You took me to new elevations
Walked with me through the pouring rain
And frolicked in the sweltering heat

Goodbye my love
You quickly changed
Berated and discarded me
And I wept heavy tears

Goodbye my love
You sucked me back in
Gave me reason to hope
And repeatedly took it all away

Goodbye my love
You now own a piece of my heart
My Forever and Always is real
And I Never wanted it to end

Goodbye my love
You aren’t sure of your feelings now
I will help clarify
And confirm your self-imposed prophecy

Goodbye my past love
Goodbye

Just When I Think

Just when I think
I’ve got it under control
It escapes and tramples me into the ground

Just when I think
The ache has subsided
I find myself battered, bleeding and gasping for air

Just when I think
The battle is over
Another bomb explodes and all hope is lost

Just when I think
I can survive without
I’m reminded its part of my heartbeat, my breath, my happiness

It hurts, just when I think

Now What?

What do you do if you and someone you love, just can’t see eye to eye on a matter? You can understand that they are hurt, want to make things better, but just doesn’t understand why they are holding on so tightly to this pain? You apologize, listen, support and discuss, but still just don’t see the situation exactly like they do?

I’m experiencing that right now, and I am at a loss as to what to do. I want things to be better. I want things to be healed. I want to help in anyway I can, but I’m struggling to find common ground.

This someone is working EXTREMELY hard to find a way to manage the hurt they are feeling. They are doing everything they should and can to make it better for everyone. I know they want the pain to end as much as, if not more than, I do.

Unfortunately, no matter what we do, we have one situation that we both see through completely different lenses. I don’t have any answers, but I do know one thing to be COMPLETELY True, no matter what happened, is happening or will happen, I will do whatever I can because the Love is stronger than any hurt, we could possibly experience.

Now What?

Are You Sad?

 

AAbject

Absent

Aggrieved

Anguished

Beautiful Single Alphabet Letter Designs | Letters with Beautiful Single Alphabet Letter DesignsRegret

Repressed

Reluctant

Restless

EErratic

Exposed

Emotional

Excruciating

 

 

YYawn

Yuck

Yielding

Yearning

OOnerous

Ominous

Oppressed

Overwhelmed

UUnhappy

Unfulfilled

Unfocused

Unmotivated

 

 

SSallow

Somber

Suffering

Shattered

AaAfraid

Anxious

Abnormal

Ambivalent

Alphabet Block Letter DDerailed

Depleted

Depressed

Destabilized

question mark

Tell Your Bitch…

Blog Post-9-16-2018-Tell Your Bitch

Tell your Bitch I hope she’s happy
I hope she feels great pride
Because her jealousy took you from me
And a part of me has died

Tell your Bitch I didn’t want to steal you
Or claim you as my own
We were just great companions
When she selfishly left you all alone

Tell your Bitch you did it
Blindsiding and catching me unaware
In a pathetic and heartless text
You crushed a friendship beyond repair

Tell your Bitch that she can have you
Until her cold and bitter end
But when again she fucks you over
I will no long be your friend

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