My heart aches
As it breaks
My heart is lost
It’s the cost
Of loving you
My heart extends
As it mends
Getting over you
I want to be your vixen
I need to be your vice
Your burning passion
Your exotic spice
I want to be your fantasy
I need to be your muse
Your forbidden fruit
Your detonator fuse
I want to be your hunger
I need to be your sin
Your longing desire
Your electrified skin
Belonging to another
But your memory seared in my mind forever
To match the longing
But the illicit tingle still lingers on my lips
In the way desired
But my body knows your touch just the same
To speak lustful words
But our forbidden script is written on my soul
Fireworks in the sky
Filling my heart with Patriotic Pride
Fireworks in the world
Tearing everyone irrevocably apart
Fireworks in our strength
Praying for a certain cure
Fireworks in the bedroom
Basking in our sated afterglow
Fireworks in my heart
Appreciating the fullness of my life
For the first time in a LONG time, I am feeling like writing. I think finding some peace in my life, looking for inspiration, and having some extra Covid related time has helped. It has allowed me to write new pieces and revisit some older, unfinished works.
Why am I telling you this? I am attempting to stave off any concerns about anything I may post in the future. Some things will be current, and express my life experiences. Some things, will be inspired by the experiences of others. Other posts will be nothing more than my mind wandering, finding inspiration in a single word, or just plain old making up shit to write.
I have been enjoying rereading some of my older posts too. Sometimes, I don’t even remember writing them, but the feelings and emotions I was experiencing at the time are felt again. It’s a very comforting way to continue my personal healing.
If you have any remarks, observations, or questions about anything I post, feel free to comment or contact me. Always happy to share opinions and thoughts.
Be Happy and Take care of yourselves!
Counting the days
Until I’m in your arms
Longing for a kiss
A taste of your need
Feeling the ache
Building in my core
Living in a fog
Waiting to be with you
I realized today that I haven’t written anything since March 1. 2020 sure has turned out to be a Crazy Year. If it had been a movie, written in the 80’s, it would have been a flop because it would be considered too outlandish. Well folks, it’s our current reality.
We are lucky, our family has come through most of it unscathed. I know others haven’t been as fortunate, and that truly hurts my heart. I wish all those who have suffered, or are suffering nothing but better days ahead.
I have been battling some of my personal demons along the way. Depression is a real asshat. I’m lucky. I have medication and a strong support team, not to mention I am a stubborn ass that won’t let it break me. Doesn’t mean I don’t have bad days, but who doesn’t? I try and find the good, or at least the lesson with every trial that comes my way.
Professor and I are celebrating 25 years of marriage this month. We had BIG plans, but they have been pared down to a lovely couple-day get away together. I must admit, I feel unbelievably lucky to be married to my best friend. We have seen the very best and worst that life has to offer. I can honestly say that I love him so much more today than I did the day I married him. I still think he’s Supper Hot too!! Not a bad thing after 25 years! 😉
That’s it for now. Sending out love and laughter to everyone.
It’s Christmas Eve. The tree twinkles with white lights. The stockings hang awaiting their bounty. Gifts are wrapped, cookies baked and the smells of Christmas waft through the rooms. Everyone is scurrying around doing last minute chores, shopping or wrapping, except me. I sit her at my computer, wanting to give thanks and put into words, how I’m feeling this Holiday.
Four years ago, on Christmas, I ran away from home. I felt lost, desperate, confused, and I hate to admit, but suicidal. I fled in the middle of the night, with nowhere to go, so I found myself checking into a hotel just down the road from my house, where my family slept. I can remember climbing into the bed in that room, and closing my eyes, hoping to never awaken. Thankfully, I did.
I awoke to the phone ringing in my room. It was the front desk telling me there was someone in the lobby, claiming to be my husband, that wanted to see me. I told them I’d be right down. Apparently, when he woke and found me gone, he had spent the night attempting to find me and finally tracked my credit card to the hotel. We talked. Can’t say we accomplished anything except he made it crystal clear that he would NOT leave me alone until I came home. So, I did, arriving before anyone else was awake and all still oblivious of my insanity flight the night before.
I tell this story because I have come out the other side of that and am feeling blessed and my heart is full again. It’s taken a Ton of work, even more tears and a willingness on everyone’s part to pick up, move forward and heal. Mostly, it’s been up to me to change the dialogue in my head.
It never mattered what anyone said to me or about me, I was instantly ready to give a list of the reasons that I was ugly, bad and unworthy. Some of that negative self-talk came from what others had said to me, but mostly it was about what I had told myself. While that nasty voice still rears its ugly head, I have learned things I can do to quiet its ass quickly now.
I have a husband I wouldn’t have survived without. My two kids are my entire world and I couldn’t be prouder of them. I am still a bit estranged from my mom, but I guess we are working on it, so that’s something. And I have a group of friends that will call me on my bullshit, give me their sleeve to wipe away my tears and hold my hair after a night out of nothing but fun and laughter. What more could anyone ask for?
So, I am going to enjoy the remainder of today and tomorrow, celebrating with my family. After that, I have no idea what will happen, but I do know that I am excited about the possibilities and look forward to the adventure. Merry Christmas to you and yours and may 2020 be your BEST YEAR Yet!!
The sudden jerk of the cab broke the tension in the backseat. I looked up to see the eyes of our driver peering into the rear-view mirror. Had he been watching? The squirming adjustment being made behind the steering wheel gave me my answer. When he looked up again, our eyes locked. His were dark and hungry. I couldn’t help myself and I asked him if he liked what he was seeing?
He blushingly replied, “Excuse me?”
I couldn’t help but smirk as I retorted, “Don’t play dumb with me Mr. Taxi Driver. Did you like the show you were watching in the backseat?”
After a momentary pause and a deep breath, he answered in a low tone, “Yes. Very Much.” You reached over and squeezed my thigh and gave me a knowing look. “Mr. Taxi Driver, would you like a taste?” I seductively asked.
The Taxi suddenly jerked right and down a dark and abandoned alley. Throwing the cab into park, his eyes pierced through the mirror and he growled, “YES!”
I couldn’t help but smile as my hand slowly made its way down and under my skirt. When my fingers reappeared, they were covered with the sticky honey dripping from my pussy. I leaned forward, never breaking our hungry stare, reached over the seatback, slowly around his head and slipped my fingers through his parting lips. He closed his mouth around my fingers and sucked them hard. He made a popping sound when I had to forcefully pull them from his hungry suck.
Our hypnotic stare broke and he turned his glare in your direction.
With no inflection or reaction, you simply commanded, “Driver, let’s go please.”
I slithered back on the seat and into your awaiting arms. We snuggled close, as our driver took us home.
This is a companion piece to Taxi https://missameliaandsir.wordpress.com/2019/10/19/taxi/
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