missameliaandsir

Thoughts on an ever-evolving life

Archive for the category “The Season”

Christmas Eve

It’s Christmas Eve. The tree twinkles with white lights. The stockings hang awaiting their bounty. Gifts are wrapped, cookies baked and the smells of Christmas waft through the rooms. Everyone is scurrying around doing last minute chores, shopping or wrapping, except me. I sit her at my computer, wanting to give thanks and put into words, how I’m feeling this Holiday.


Four years ago, on Christmas, I ran away from home. I felt lost, desperate, confused, and I hate to admit, but suicidal. I fled in the middle of the night, with nowhere to go, so I found myself checking into a hotel just down the road from my house, where my family slept. I can remember climbing into the bed in that room, and closing my eyes, hoping to never awaken. Thankfully, I did.


I awoke to the phone ringing in my room. It was the front desk telling me there was someone in the lobby, claiming to be my husband, that wanted to see me. I told them I’d be right down. Apparently, when he woke and found me gone, he had spent the night attempting to find me and finally tracked my credit card to the hotel. We talked. Can’t say we accomplished anything except he made it crystal clear that he would NOT leave me alone until I came home. So, I did, arriving before anyone else was awake and all still oblivious of my insanity flight the night before.


I tell this story because I have come out the other side of that and am feeling blessed and my heart is full again. It’s taken a Ton of work, even more tears and a willingness on everyone’s part to pick up, move forward and heal. Mostly, it’s been up to me to change the dialogue in my head.
It never mattered what anyone said to me or about me, I was instantly ready to give a list of the reasons that I was ugly, bad and unworthy. Some of that negative self-talk came from what others had said to me, but mostly it was about what I had told myself. While that nasty voice still rears its ugly head, I have learned things I can do to quiet its ass quickly now.


I have a husband I wouldn’t have survived without. My two kids are my entire world and I couldn’t be prouder of them. I am still a bit estranged from my mom, but I guess we are working on it, so that’s something. And I have a group of friends that will call me on my bullshit, give me their sleeve to wipe away my tears and hold my hair after a night out of nothing but fun and laughter. What more could anyone ask for?


So, I am going to enjoy the remainder of today and tomorrow, celebrating with my family. After that, I have no idea what will happen, but I do know that I am excited about the possibilities and look forward to the adventure. Merry Christmas to you and yours and may 2020 be your BEST YEAR Yet!!

Summer Break

Last September
The year began
With classrooms full
And a master plan

The months drug on
New lessons learned
Challenges faced
And brain-cells burned

Rotten kids
And irrational parents
Make things tougher
With their incoherence

I counted the days
Until the end
Tried to remain pleasant
And not condescend

I completely understand
I won’t ever earn riches
But as of today
It’s Summer Break Bitches!

The Holidays

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Shiny Tensile and Hanging Mistletoe
Sugar Cookies and Peppermint Coco

Red Holly and Beautiful Wreaths
Crisp Silence and Snowy Peace

Jolly Santa and Flying Reindeer
Melodic Carrols and Wishes Sincere

Red Gloves and Snuggly Scarfs
Warm Hearts and Warm Hearths

Frequent kisses and Glowing Smiles
Wrapped Gifts and Traveling Miles

Love Aplenty and Holiday Cheer
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year

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**Sorry for the Re-blog, but it’s Christmas and I’m enjoying my family!  XOXOXO**

Twelve Days of Christmas-Day Twelve

Blog Post- -Twelve Days of Christmas-Day Twelve

Today my Dear,
On day twelve,
I give to you,
A wicked delve.

Into a world,
Of pain and pleasure,
Where we both will find,
Life’s true treasure.

**Sorry for the Re-blog, but it’s the Holiday Season and I’m busy as HELL!  😉 **

Twelve Days of Christmas-Day Eleven

Blog Post- -Twelve Days of Christmas-Day Eleven

Today my Dear,
On day eleven,
I give to You,
A new possession.

A leather leash and collar,
with me on all fours,
To show the world,
That I am Yours.

**Sorry for the Re-blog, but it’s the Holiday Season and I’m busy as HELL!  😉 **

Twelve Days of Christmas-Day Ten

Blog Post- -Twelve Days of Christmas-Day Ten

Today my Dear,
On day ten,
I give to You,
A lurid amen.

Pray to God, Allah,
Or venerate whomever You prefer.
Tonight I kneel to You,
Worship and serve You Sir.

**Sorry for the Re-blog, but it’s the Holiday Season and I’m busy as HELL!  😉 **

Twelve Days of Christmas-Day Nine

Blog Post- -Twelve Days of Christmas-Day Nine

Today my Dear,
On day nine,
I give to You,
Our bodies entwined.

There will be no distinction,
As we transcend.
No clear delineation,
Of where I begin and You end.

**Sorry for the Re-blog, but it’s the Holiday Season and I’m busy as HELL!  😉 **

Twelve Days of Christmas-Day Eight

Blog Post- -Twelve Days of Christmas-Day Eight

Today my Dear,
On day eight,
I give to You,
My hungry taint.

It is Yours,
To use as You crave.
Fuck it or suck it.
In it, allow Your fingers to wave.

**Sorry for the Re-blog, but it’s the Holiday Season and I’m busy as HELL!  😉 **

Twelve Days of Christmas-Day Seven

Blog Post- -Twelve Days of Christmas-Day Seven

Today my Dear,
On day seven,
I give to You,
Seven minutes in heaven.

See that little cutie?
The one eyeing you over there?
Take her down the hall,
And tangle Your fingers in her hair.

**Sorry for the Re-blog, but it’s the Holiday Season and I’m busy as HELL!  😉 **

Twelve Days of Christmas-Day Six

Blog Post- -Twelve Days of Christmas-Day Six

Today my Dear,
On day six,
I give to You,
My fingers, wet and slick.

Watch as I insert them,
Deep and completely obscene,
Then pull them out slowly,
And lick them clean.

**Sorry for the Re-blog, but it’s the Holiday Season and I’m busy as HELL!  😉 **

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