Thoughts on an ever-evolving life

The BBQ – Chapter 4


The early summer sun was dipping down as people began arriving, and the backyard and deck quickly filled with guests.  Professor was introducing Rich to all his students and local friends.  Amelia had been floating through the throngs, but now found herself needing to retreat into the kitchen to attend to the food.  As she extended her arm to reach a serving platter on the top shelf, she felt a body press against her back, hard, and the steam of warm breath on her neck.  She didn’t even have to look to know that it was Richard.

“I am still waiting for a proper welcome to your house.  I drove a long way, and I think that is the least you can do,” he growled in her ear.

“Really?  You don’t think that you were properly welcomed in my bedroom?” she quickly sassed back at him through her panting breath.

“That errant mouth of yours just got you in trouble, Little Girl.  You will be punished.” Amelia felt him move slightly and she inhaled abruptly as he reached around her and flashed a pocket knife in front of her eyes.  With a simple flip, an extremely sharp blade was gleaming in the kitchen light.  Amelia didn’t breathe.  “Now, about your outfit,” he spoke in a low growl.

Amelia finally inhaled to fill her lungs.  “What about my outfit?  Don’t you like it?”

“No, I definitely don’t like it.  Not the way it is right now.”  He continued to slowly move the knife around the side of her face, finally bringing it to rest against her left cheek.

“You had better be careful.  I have lots of guests, and someone might come walking in,” Amelia warned, a hint of panic in her voice.

Suddenly, Rich moved the knife, grabbed her by the face and spun her around so she was looking directly into his burning eyes.  He raised his hand and barely pressed the side of the knife blade to her lips.  “Don’t you worry your pretty little head about that, Darlin’.  Your husband and I have that covered.”  With a smirk on his face, he slid the back of the blade slowly down her jaw and rested it against her exposed collar bone.  “Now, about that outfit.”  He used his extended pinky to move the collar of her blouse to one side and deftly slipped the knife under her bra strap.  With the tiniest of flicks, the razor sharp edge easily sliced the strap in half.

“What the Fuck are you doing?!” spit like venom from her lips. The knife instantly flashed in Richard’s hand, and flew up to Amelia’s lips, barely touching them with the glistening razor sharp edge.  Fear flashed in her eyes and she didn’t dare move, not even a single breath.

“Who do you think you are talking to, Bitch?  I will do anything I fucking want to do, and you best not forget that again,” anger and annoyance permeating his words.  He reach up with his free hand, angrily pulled the neck of her shirt off the other shoulder and sliced the remaining bra strap.  Thrusting his hand down the front of her shirt, he pulled it up over her breasts and used the knife to cut her bra between her massive tits, watching the severed pieces fall to the floor.  “There!  Much better, don’t you think?” he said with a satisfied smile on his face.

“Yes, Sir,” was all she could meekly manage between her heavy, labored breaths.

Rich leaned in, kissed her right breast, moved across and bit her left nipple, then neatly pulled her shirt down.  Again, he silently turned and walked away.

Amelia’s wobbly legs insisted that she continue to use the counter for stability for the next several minutes.  It wasn’t until she heard other guest talking and entering the kitchen that she found the strength to snatch her bra pieces off the floor, shove them into a rarely used drawer and grab a dish towel, giving the appearance that she had been cleaning up a cooking mess.  She was all smiles when they reached her, but a single drip of sweat trickled down her now braless back.


To be continued…


The BBQ – Chapter 3

The BBQ 3 of 14

Amelia, alone again, laid down, closed her eyes and tried to compose herself as her head began to wildly spin with memories of the past.  This twisted triangle of a friendship had begun some 20 years earlier.  Professor and Richard had met and become great friends right out of college.  They had met up at their first jobs after graduation and forged a lifelong friendship.  Miss Amelia came into the picture some ten years later.  Professor and she had quickly developed an unbreakable connection based on mutual respect, trust, desire, and an undeniable love.  When they married, Rich had even served as their Best Man.

There had also been an almost instant attraction between Amelia and Rich.  It came into full bloom one year when they all went to elk camp together.  The boys were out in the woods hunting and Amelia remained in camp.  On a midafternoon break, the boys had returned to camp and Professor prepared water for Amelia’s shower.  The shower was a primitive affair, just a blue tarp wrapped around three trees and a bucket, hung high on a sawn-off branch. A make-shift hose and sprinkler served as a shower head, and dispensed just enough water to rinse quickly.   Amelia stepped behind the tarp, undressed, and began to shower.  She hadn’t noticed that the low-angled afternoon sun allowed for a perfectly back lit view through the thin tarp surrounding her shower.  Professor pulled up a chair, motioned for Rich and whispered, “Pull up a seat, my man, and enjoy the show.”  Amelia was unaware of the viewing party until Rich wickedly commented loudly to her, “Do that thing with the soap again.  I really like that thing with the soap.”  The edge of the tarp moved aside as Amelia’s wide eyes peaked around the corner to acknowledge her audience.  With a smirk and a wink, she then returned to her shower and ran the soap the full length of her body, now fully aware of the eyes watching and her own growing arousal.

Over time, the attraction between Richard and Amelia became impossible to ignore.  While Professor knew deep in the core of his heart that she completely belonged to him, then, now and forever, he found great pleasure in releasing her to his closest friend for his enjoyment.  Amelia relished this special arrangement.

Amelia blinked open her eyes and rejoined the present world.  She realized she must have drifted off to sleep, and jumped out of bed to quickly rush into the bathroom so she could touch up her tussled hair and makeup.  She found the light blue cow-neck blouse and knee-length paisley peasant skirt she had laid out earlier, and hastily dressed so she could go and greet the guests that had already arrived.


To be continued…

The BBQ – Chapter 2


Amelia sensed she was in trouble – she had seen the two men team up before.  These two obviously had a plan and she knew she would be required to obey.  With heightened apprehension and a rapidly growing, burning desire, she mentally prepared herself for what was to come.

Rich moved his hands down her throat, to her breast and eagerly began pinching and twisting both nipples between his nimble fingers.  Professor grabbed a handful of her hair, jerked her head backwards and began ravaging her neck with his hot, wet mouth.  Soon hands were moving over every inch of her body, rubbing, pulling, pinching, spanking and caressing as Amelia tried desperately to catch her breath.

Abruptly, Rich stepped back from her.  He unbuckled his jeans, pulled his belt free of their loops and removed his pants, so he was standing, fully erect in front of Amelia.  In one swift motion, Professor, still with a handful of her hair, spun her around to face him.  She hadn’t noticed that he had removed his pants while she was distracted by Richard’s striptease.  He forcefully pushed her head down, bending her at the waist and her mouth automatically opened and accepted his fully erect cock into her hungry throat.  Suddenly, she felt the biting sting of Rich’ belt making contact with her exposed ass.  SWACK!  SWACK!  SWACK!  They came quickly, one after the other, and her pussy became wetter with each hit.

Amelia was jerked up to a standing position, so she was looking Professor directly in his blackened eyes.  A wicked smile grew across his lips and he growled, “Are you ready, Baby?”

With her head swimming and not knowing exactly what was coming next, she replied in her soft, submissive voice, “Yes, Sir.”

Again, he spun her around by the hair and she could see Richard stretched out on the bed, cock hard and presented for her attention.  Professor ordered her, “Get on your knees, Slut.”  She climbed on the edge of the bed, with her ass and pussy fully open and presented for his inspection and approval.  After taking his free hand and caressing her ass, he growled “Now, suck his cock you little Cock Slut!” as he pushed her head down to take Rich fully into her hungry mouth.  Professor maintained full control of her head as he moved it up and down, making sure her mouth took the full length of his shaft, pushing down until she gagged as his cock pounded the back of her throat.  She gasped for air in between retching gags.  “You take that cock, slut,” he said as he handed Amelia’s hair off to Rich’ control.

Richard continued the assault on her throat, as she drooled, spit and gagged on his cock.  Professor began ramming his hardness into her dripping wet pussy.  With every violent thrust penetrating deep inside, her desire for air became more and more frantic.

Without the slightest warning, everything suddenly stopped.  Amelia found herself alone and in the fetal position on the bed, sweaty, used, unsatisfied and gasping for breath.  Both men stood up and began getting dressed.

“What the FUCK are you doing?” came spitting from her saliva dripping lips.

Professor leaned over the edge of the bed, kissed her lightly on the forehead and said, “Oh sweetheart, I invited Rich to come to our party and to come and enjoy you.  He’s my guest.  You had BETTER watch your tone when speaking to us, or you WILL be punished.  Be prepared, my darling, this is just the beginning.  You need to finish getting ready now, as the other guests will be arriving any time.” And he threaded his hand into her hair, gave one last tug, and the two men walked out of the room.


To be continued…

The BBQ – Chapter 1


June is the perfect month for a BBQ.  The cold, biting evenings are over, the semester has ended, and everyone is gearing up for a three month break.  The annual End-of-Spring-Term party at the Professor’s house signaled the official beginning of summer.  It had become somewhat of a town legend for its food, frivolities and festivities.  His students looked forward with great anticipation to the year they would be invited.  The Professor and his wife, Miss Amelia, always had a horde of additional friends who made sure their calendars were clear, so they were able to attend every year too.  This year would be no different for any of them, except Amelia.

For weeks now, Amelia had been planning, preparing, shopping and cooking for the big party happening that night.  Every table was set, every chair arranged, every dish placed just so, and the refrigerator was full of enough food to feed everyone coming tonight, plus at least 100 more.  With everything in its proper place, it was time for her to go prepare herself, before the guests started arriving.

She convinced herself that she had more than enough time for a quick shower.  She retreated to the master bathroom where she slowly undressed, turned on the shower and climbed in.  The hot water felt amazing as she stood and let the pounding streams run over her head, down her neck, over her ample breasts, across her belly and down her slightly parted legs to the shower floor.  Feeling the ecstasy of the water and the warmth, she picked up the bar of soap and traced the same path down her body, stopping to pay a little extra attention to her large, stimulated breasts and her clean shaven, smooth mound.  Knowing she didn’t have the time to completely satisfy her growing desires, she rinsed, turned off the water and grabbed a fluffy bath towel to dry.

While she was quickly putting the finishing touches on her hair and make-up, she heard a noise coming from the bedroom.  “Who is it?”

“It’s me, my love,” was the casual reply from Professor.  “Are you about finished?  Guests will be arriving soon.”

“Yes, I am just about finished.  I just need to get dressed.  I am on my way out.”  She hung up her towel and walked briskly into the bedroom.  When she rounded the corner, she stopped suddenly and let out a gasp.  Standing in front of her was not her husband, but a dear family friend with a very familiar look in his eyes.  Professor was nowhere to be seen.  She instantly began contorting her body to hide her naked and exposed parts, but quickly realized it was a futile effort.  There she stood, naked and staring straight into the eyes of Richard.  Without saying a word, he stepped up to her, caressed her face in his strong hands and kissed her.  She knew those lips and their deep, passionate and familiar taste.  Her knees suddenly felt like they were buckling under her, but instead of falling, two other strong hands grabbed her from behind and held her upright.  From the dark walk-in closet, Professor had appeared with that same familiar, smoldering look in his eyes.


To be continued…


I am Steel

Blog Post-5-20-2018-I am Steel

I am made of steel
You will have to be Superman
If you want to penetrate my defenses

I am a china doll
Cracked and fragile
One tiny tap away from complete oblivion

I am a stick of dynamite
Completely benign
Until lit and violently detonate

I am a delicate rose
Beautiful to behold
And covered in the sharpest thorns

I am the radiant sun
Giving of light and warmth
Capable of leaving you incinerated

Kinkfest Reflections

Blog Post-4-8-2018-Kinkfest Revisited

(image from the internet of an event from the past, this year was MUCH larger)

Professor and I attended Kinkfest last weekend. We had never been before and were extremely excited to find out what it was all about. Of course, things didn’t begin as we had planned and we arrived later than we had expected, but we made it!

We weren’t able to attend any seminars the first day, so we used our time to wander the vendor area. I must admit, I had REALLY been looking forward to this. Seeing all the fun, new, and unusual objects displayed on tables was a total mind fantasy overload. Professor just laughed as I squealed at every new table and item I picked up to admire. I’m glad he was there to keep my splurges under control.

As this area closed up for the night, we returned to our hotel room to prepare for the evening in the dungeon. Never having been to anything like this, I must admit I was both excited and a bit apprehensive. Over dinner, we discussed how we were feeling and what our limits of the night were. I really wanted to explore and watch, and not feel the need to preform that night. Professor agreed and we went with only ourselves and our sense of wonder.

While we were enjoying our dinner, we overheard two ladies talking with a man at the bar. He was attending Kinkfest and the two ladies were sisters asking a million questions about the event. Professor and I laughed to ourselves at some of their questions of wonder. The man left and the two ladies continued talking about it. They came to the conclusion that they just never knew anybody that did those kind of things. I couldn’t help myself, so as we got up to leave, I walked over, said excuse “me but I couldn’t help but listen to your conversation and I GUARENTEE that you know someone that is kinky like that”. They responded with “REALLY? You think so?” I smiled, their eyes widened and asked, YOU? I again smiled and nodded my head yes, and we began a discussion of what BDSM, D/s and kink really is. It was a lot of fun and I feel like I was able to be a good ambassador.

The Dungeon was a HUGE space with every type and kind of equipment and area that you could imagine. There was great music and perfect lighting and a room full of kink in every form. The areas were divided by a perfect maze of red carpets that allowed us to flow through the room and take everything in.

Benches, tables, stools and chairs were scattered everywhere. There was a fenced area where whip play could safely be performed. The rigging and rope area allowed for several ties to easily occur simultaneously. There was a designated and plastic-lined area for blood play. Several matted areas were scattered around the room, some designated as aftercare-only areas, and others for wrestling and immobility play. There was a Baby play area with toys and blocks, and a corral for horse play and carriage rides. Really, if you wanted to watch it or do it, it was there.

The screams and moans were coming from every direction. There were cracks and slaps happening at an immeasurable rate. A smattering of laughter was mixed with a flooding of tears. It was a LOT to take in. We observed for several trips around the room and then returned to our hotel to rest for the next day.

We were up early to attend the first workshop. It was a wax play discussion. There were two speakers that had extensive experience and some wonderful suggestions that they demonstrated on their model. I especially loved the use of a 50/50 mixture of Crisco and coconut oil that they used as a preparation for the wax. It made the removal extremely easy without diminishing the experience or beautiful splatter designs. They answered every question that was asked, and then offered personal instruction if anyone desired it. We went up to see some of the equipment more closely, and I was able to have some wax applied to my arm with a paint brush, then removed with a butcher knife. I LOVED IT!!

Our discussion was over a bit early, so we slipped into another workshop already in progress about dealing with the pain. I found myself becoming a bit overwhelmed as we watched. The sub was describing how she was handling the pain being delivered. I appreciated that, but her eyes and words begging for him to stop was a bit too much for my already over-stimulated being, so we quietly slipped out.

We found ourselves with a few more minutes of free time and back at the vendor area. Professor ordered me the most beautiful black and purple leather ringed colla,r and I can’t wait for it to arrive. We were also able to find him a perfectly fit earthy green kilt. It’s comfortable, sexy as hell, and provides EASY access, a list of my favorite things.

Our next discussion was on pressure points for pain and pleasure. It was so informative and exceptionally fun because the speaker encouraged the audience to participate with him as he demonstrated. I found myself moaning and wincing in both forms of delivery. I left the entire seminar in a bit of a puddle.

We had several hours free so Professor and I left the event for a while and wandered the waterfront and Saturday Market nearby to relax and rest our minds. I loved sharing a vendor food lunch and taking in the sights while holding hands and feeling loved.

We returned to our room, rested and prepared for another night in the Dungeon. We attended a meet and greet at a nearby hotel, for attendees of the event. Couldn’t go out into the main area, because it was a cigar social, and the smoke is detrimental to my senses, so we sat inside and took in the event and conversations. We had planned on ordering dinner there, but the lines and wait were CRAZY long, so we eventually excused ourselves and drove down the road to HOOTERS, and grabbed a bite to eat. 

We had decided to take some equipment to play that night. We reentered the venue and decided to walk around first. I am 100% supportive of you doing whatever kink that turns you on as long as it’s safe, sane and consensual, but I came to a few conclusions about what is and isn’t for me. I was surprised that the Female Domme and male submissive seemed to far outnumber the opposite combination. While I have no problem with this, I now know more clearly that I am a submissive and have no desire to control Professor (I know he doesn’t desire that either). I am also sure that I am not into the role playing of babies and animals. They can completely get their kink on there, but I’m just not a diaper girl. Also, the blood play isn’t for me. I was intrigued to see it, since we have never played that way, but quickly learned that I could avoid that area just fine.

We stopped to watch some fairly intense scenes. Some were WAY more intense than anything I could ever handle. As we continued around, looking for a possible play space, I became extremely overwhelmed and broke into tears. Professor immediately pulled me aside and began taking care of me. Funny, we hadn’t done anything and I was suddenly in need of heavy aftercare, but luckily he recognized that and was able to re-center me. He held me, comforted me, loved me, and we talked.

We realized that while we had seen SO MUCH intensity, we hadn’t seen any real aftercare. I told him I saw the play, but hadn’t felt any of the love that I find so important. Instead of playing, we began walking around again looking for aftercare. We had watched a scene between an older couple where he was caning her bloody and almost unconscious. We came back around to where they had been playing just as he wrapped her unchained, limp body in a blanket and called for a chair to place her on. He sat her down and began gently giving her sips of water in between loving kisses on her forehead. When she could finally hold the water bottle herself, he scrambled over and grabbed her socks, kneeling down in front of her and kissing her before placing each one on, and giving a loving rub to her feet. I watched this happening and felt an overwhelming warmth washing over me. It was EXACTLY what I needed to experience.

Professor decided that we would not be playing and we returned to our hotel room where he did EXACTLY what he knew we needed and we eventually drifted off to sleep wrapped in each other, smiling and completely sated.

So, I don’t know that this will be a new yearly event, but I would absolutely go back. Next time, it will be with a little better understanding and a bit better prepared. Kink is very individualized and everyone needs to explore and find what does and doesn’t work for them. I’m incredibly blessed to be able to discover my limits with a partner who is open, loving, giving, understanding, and owns me heart, body and soul. Thank you Daddy.

Forgive Me Father

THIS!!! This works for every kind of hater, judgemental and all around miserable person that thinks it’s ok to intentionally harm others. These two people are wonderful humans that don’t deserve this. Please, always remember, for every nasty excuse of a person, there are many more that wish you only love and happiness.

The Lonely Author


This is dedicated to all my haters.  Please watch your step as you form an orderly line.  You truly are number one.   (Wanna guess which finger I’m extending?)


Forgive Me Father


Forgive me Father
For I am guilty of love
Come and be the judge
Like your modern day preachers
Orating sermons of black sludge

Little green skinned disciples
Claws preaching on holy keyboards
Judging all of your children
Clinging tight to Bibles
As they cast the first stone

Father you always taught love
Now sacred hypocrites spew hatred at the pulpit
For when they are not walking on water
These predators must be
Slithering on hallowed ground

Father, my debauchery warrants punishment
Banish me to Satan’s dark inferno
While I’m there, what should I tell
All of these judgmental disciples
When I bump into them in the bowels of hell.



Karma is a bitch.

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We’re Off!

We are off for a weekend adventure!! Hope to have some great stories to share afterwards! Wish me luck! 💋

Unconditional Love

Blog Post-3-20-2018-Unconditional Love

You offer me love
Unless, of course
I don’t meet your conditions

Nobody will ever put us
Unless, of course
You ask me to choose

We will always have open
Unless, of course
You refuse to speak

We are a forever
Unless, of course
You decide to walk away

Tailgating Part III


He stood, turned to her with a devilish look in his eyes and said, “I never said we were leaving.” She could not help wondering, what was he up to? That was about all she had time to think as he grabbed her by the waist, spun her around to face the tailgate and commanded, “Bend over, put your hands out flat in front of you and close your eyes. And you BETTER keep them closed!”
She did EXACTLY what he directed and responded with a soft, “Yes, Sir.” He started moving all around her and talking.
“I went shopping today. I have a few new things I would like to introduce to you.” She heard him unzipping a bag. He continued, “You know what this is, don’t you?” as he placed something into her out-stretched hands.
“Yes,” she replied. “This is the wonderful leather rope you wrapped around me a few nights ago.”
“That’s correct. And I know you recognize these.”
“Yes” she responded shakily, with her eyes still closed, as he placed the cold metal handcuffs into her hand. She knew them very well. They were quick-release cuffs, and she had almost mastered escaping from them.
“Now, you won’t recognize these, because you have never seen them before, but I bet you can guess what they are. They are much heavier than the others and you WON’T be getting out of these.”
She almost couldn’t breathe as he place another set of handcuffs into her hand. They were MUCH heavier than the others, and she had no idea how these worked. She began trembling harder.
“Now, we need to see just how well built these Tundras are.” He first grabbed her right wrist and stretched it out to the side. She felt the click of a set of handcuffs on her wrist, quickly followed by another click to a metal object, which happened to be where the tailgate latched. The same sequence followed to the left. She was now stretched, arms secured out to each side of the truck, and bent at the waist over the tailgate. She was completely unable to move.
“I bought a new toy for myself today. Would you like to guess what it is?” he said as she felt a cool piece of leather glide across her cheek. It was followed by a long, slow trip down her back, coming to a rest across her ass. She instantly knew EXACTLY what it was. Sir had bought a riding crop! In one swift move, her pants were down around her snow boots. She was out in the cold night air, bare assed and gasping for breath.
The sudden sting of the leather across her ass was like nothing she had ever felt before. It was sharp, intense, and much more localized than any of her previous spankings. It sent an instant electric surge straight to her core and clit. After several biting stings, Sir said, “Yes. This will do very nicely, but I will have to be very careful with it. I could do some serious damage if I were to get carried away. I will need a little more practice. This is enough of an introduction for tonight. Good thing this isn’t all I brought.”
She heard more rustling and suddenly felt the familiar thrust of their wooden Manzanita toy into her dripping wet pussy. Sir pounded her with such force and aggression that within mere moments she was coming. Seconds later, as he continued his assault, she felt a gush from her pussy that sent streams of fluid running down her bare thighs, soaking into her jeans still wrapped around her ankles.
“Now that is EXACTLY what I wanted,” he said with an air of joy and satisfaction in his voice. Sir went into the truck and returned with a towel to dry her wet legs and pussy. He then pulled up her pants, released her hands from the cuffs, and told her she could open her eyes. There was NO WAY she could possibly have supported herself on her weak legs, so she just remained bent over the tailgate.
After some time, and with the support of Sir, she was able to stand on her own. She looked into his loving face and asked, “Please Sir, may I take care of you now?”
He softly caressed her cheek, kissed her and said, “Not now, but you will. You are shivering and I want to take you home and FUCK you because you are my Fuck Girl, aren’t you?”
“Yes, Sir. I am YOUR Fuck Girl.”
She hadn’t even noticed, but suddenly she was shivering. Sir placed her in the cab of the truck and turned the heat on high. He quickly loaded everything into the back, and they set off for home.
As they drove in the silence of the snow, she felt overwhelming emotion wash over her. Sir must have sensed it and asked, “Are you alright, my love?” The tears came streaming down her face as she caught her breath to reply. “No, Sir. I am not alright. I am so much more than alright. I never thought that I would ever feel this kind of love, devotion, connection and bliss. Thank you for giving me that. I LOVE YOU.”
They rode home holding hands and finished the most perfect night at home, in their bedroom, with Sir’s cum dripping from her smiling face.

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