missameliaandsir

Thoughts on an ever-evolving life

Archive for the tag “D/s”

I Don’t Know…

Blog Post-4-6-2017-I don't know...I don’t know
What I have done
To deserve you
In my life

I will ensure
Whatever it takes
To be worthy
In your eyes

I can’t fathom
What stars aligned
To bring your light
Into my darkness

I shall provide
Whatever you desire
To be given
In my submission

Me

Blog Post-4-2-2017-Me

Take me
Tear me
Use me hard
Twist me
Bind me
Leave me scared

Whip me
Thrash me
Make me cry
Degrade me
Destroy me
Watch me fly

Please me
Pleasure me
Please don’t quit
Claim me
Chain me
Watch me submit

Share me
Display me
Declare me whore
Dominate me
Own me
Call me yours

 

*I am very sorry to say that I don’t know the name of this artist.  If you do, please let me know so I can give credit or remove it at their request.  Thank you.

Life

Life keeps happening. It keeps happening no matter what your plans are or how much you could REALLY use a break. It happens no matter what you want or what you think you deserve. It happens, and we just have to embrace it and roll with the punches.

I have wanted to write for SO LONG now, but life has seemed to preempt any attempts that I have made to do just that. Today, I am going to tell life to kiss my ass for the next ten minutes so I can get this done. I use my blog as a sort of cathartic place to rant and as a virtual diary of my life.

Dear Blog Diary,

I am feeling better, but have still had some struggles lately. I don’t feel like I did when I was living in the deep darkness, but I have been overwhelmed. I know everyone feels this from time to time, but I must admit, when it happens to me, I get really scared that I am getting sick again. So, that is the first thing I must deal with.

My daughter came to her father and I and informed us that she has been purging. I couldn’t breathe. How did I not know? How could this have happened? What did I do wrong? I have realized that I did nothing wrong, missed nothing and can only adjust and move forward from here. Turns out, she was harboring a LOT of anger toward her father and I, and she felt abandoned and unloved. That, I did do. Not on purpose, as I was drowning in my own darkness, but I wasn’t communicating openly with her and she turned it into feelings of abandonment and lack of caring. With the help of therapy, TONS of talking, and an abundance of love, I am happy to say we are ALL doing better. We will continue to monitor and seek professional help, but she is on the way to recovery and we are on the way to being an even stronger family. Oh, and she had her first car accident. Scared the shit out of me, but everyone was fine and all vehicles are fixed and running again.

My son has lost his job. Well, not technically until the end of the term, but they have cut his program from the budget. I’m keeping my fingers crossed that this will only lead to bigger and better things for him. He is an incredibly bright young man and will find a way to succeed, no matter what life throws at him.

Work is work. Crazy, busy, unpredictable and exhausting. However, for the first time in a couple of years, I come home exhausted, but not in tears, so that’s a positive, right?

A rough winter has led to several new additions to the To Do List. Ice dams caused leaks in the roof. Roof shedding took out a fence. The heaving of ice and snow pushed out several joist supports on the deck. And the holes in the chicken coops and play house must be fixed. Mother Nature was a REAL BITCH this year.

My marriage is better than EVER! We have been to hell and back this past year and come out of it stronger and more connected. I wasn’t sure we could ever resume our D/s, but we are both finding it to actually be easier and deeper than ever before. Thank you for sticking with me Sir.
Like I said, not much time for writing, but some juicy stuff in process. I know what I want to write, now to just find the time. My mind has been full, but just as dirty and disturbing as ever.

We have also had WONDERFUL things happening, Trips with friends, another friend, who battles with depression and PTSD that is winning his battle, A London trip in the future. Life is really good. Crazy, but REALLY GOOD! All for now, I must get ready to see friends!

XOXOXO

Lunch Date

Blog Post-3-10-2017-Lunch Date

Twisted in gnarled fingers
Entwined and tightly gripped
Pulled sharply backward
Forward thrusts inflict

Silent screams released
Whimpers and groans collide
Gasp after breathless gasp
Mercy brutally denied

Slap, slap, ruthless slap
Of skin abusing skin
Marks beginning to rise
Creeping deeper into sin

Heights repeatedly hit
Dams completely breeched
Juices freely flow
Pinnacles exquisitely reached

Your Wilderness

blog-post-2-19-2017-your-wilderness

Your wilderness can be harsh
It is often unforgiving and merciless
Wrought with stringent demands and exacting punishments
Strict, remorseless, sever and breathtakingly primal.

On occasion, Your wilderness is a picturesque scene
Beautiful, quiet and utterly serene
I can bask in the light of Your tranquil presence
And float away in the still of Your peaceful soul

Your wilderness always leaves me feeling protected
In Your sheltering arms and insulated control
I’m left loved, cherished and unconditionally treasured
And I know true security and safety absolute

Within Your wilderness, I can surrender
Relinquish, yield and submit to Your bestial domination
All restraint is abandoned and vacated as I cede to Your commands
And Your wanton, shameless, unrestrained courtesan is allowed to run free

Love Letters #2

love-letters

This is something I thought would be fun for the month of February. I have captured some of the correspondence between Professor and I that I wanted to share. They make my heart melt every time I read them. Hope they will bring a smile to your face too.
*********************************************************************

An Email from Sir to Miss Amelia:

Yes, make sure you stay busy doing “important” things today. Do not take too much time to think of me. Don’t pause and let your mind drift to my hands sliding softly, then firmly around your neck from behind. Do not be tempted to think of my breath alongside your face, and the feel of my fingers threading into your hair to tilt your head back with a firm pull, putting your wet lips up where I can kiss them. Best not think too much about what the rope I am shopping for might look like, or feel like….about how I might cut it into 10-foot lengths, using each one to bind a part of your surrendered body, leaving it exposed, vulnerable, and totally at my whim. Best not imagine how my breath will quicken at the sight of your submissive eyes looking up into mine, or how my cock will hunger to explode all over you, leaving you marked and smelling of my scent. No, best you concentrate your mental energies on “important” things today, because time is coming when you won’t be able to think of a single other thing……

-Sir-

Love Letters #1

love-letters

This is something I thought would be fun for the month of February. I have captured some of the correspondence between Professor and I that I wanted to share. They make my heart melt every time I read them. Hope they will bring a smile to your face too.

***********************************************************************

An Email from Miss Amelia to Sir:

You are consuming me. My mind, heart, body and soul. I feel myself disappearing in my need for you. I want our bodies touching, caressing, teasing and tasting as we consume all the oxygen from the room. I want to give myself to you, as I’m claiming you as my own. MINE! MINE! MINE! Never a more beautiful word spoken. Never a truer sentiment shared. I LOVE YOU SIR! Xoxoxo

A Reply from Sir to Miss Amelia:

Oh Miss…. The consumption ensnares us both. I am listening to music, and finding some slice of you in every note and verse, some manifestation of us, some arrow that points me to where my heart and soul belong, to you, with you. I FEEL you inside my arms, and I draw from that feeling such an energy and peace. I feel the air warm as the fire of passion grows the closer we get. And I can never get close enough. Even entwined and inside you, I hunger to be closer, to make you a very part of me. Amelia, I am not whole without you. I am stronger, better, more capable because of the love you have given me. GIVEN, of free will and unbridled desire. As you feel yourself disappear in your need for me, know that I am pulled by the same gravity, and that when we disappear into one another, we will both be found. MINE….beauty and truth wrapped into a single syllable.

I LOVE YOU AMELIA!

-Sir-

War Paint

blog-post-1-30-2017-war-paint

I EARNED it!!
I bled for it
I hurt for it
And I wore it like a badge of honor

You GAVE it!!
You tortured me for it
You pleasured me for it
And You left your signature across my skin

We BASKED in it!!
We reached nirvana for it
We had to be cleansed for it
And We will revere the memories forever

Fuck Me Until…

blog-post-1-5-2017-fuck-me-until

Fuck Me until I can’t walk
Fuck Me until I can’t talk
And leave me spent
Whimpering
In a driveling
Puddle

Fuck Me until I’m worn out
Fuck me until there is no doubt
That I can’t take it
For one
More
Second

Fuck Me until it’s scorching hot
Fuck Me until I beg you to stop
And call out for respite
From my repeated
Peaks
Of ecstasy

Fuck Me until I safe word
Fuck Me until I’m barely heard
Tell me I’m a Good Girl
Then do it all
Over
Again!

I Got a New Sex Hutch!

1-4-2017new-sex-hutch-2

I am SO EXCITED!!

I have been looking for just the right piece of furniture to put in my bedroom, to store all our fun toys, and I have finally found it. It’s not all full yet, but I couldn’t wait to show you. I have already assigned all my drawers.

The Insertion Drawer

1-4-2017new-sex-hutch-3

The Deprivation and Clamp Drawer

1-4-2017new-sex-hutch-5

The Bondage Drawer

1-4-2017new-sex-hutch-7

The Jellies, Lubes and Oils Cabinet

1-4-2017new-sex-hutch-4

The Impact Drawer

1-4-2017new-sex-hutch-8

Towel Storage

1-4-2017new-sex-hutch-6

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