It’s been months since the last time I wrote anything for my Blog. With the world-wide quarantine, I can’t really blame it on being super busy. I have continued to keep moving at a steady pace, but my real excuse is that I just haven’t felt like writing. I’ve had plenty of thoughts going through my brain, but they all seem to jumble and crash into each other. I have been struggling, as everyone has, with the consequences of the pandemic we have all experienced.
As someone who tends to have empath characteristics, this has brought an entirely new level of angst and also understanding for me. I take on the feelings of others as if they were my own. When my friends, or even strangers are hurting, I ache with them and for them. I want to put on my superhero cape and swoop in to make everything better. I’ve always joked that my magic wand was in the shop and I guess my cape is too. With all the current turmoil, I’ve been taking a hard look at myself and how I can keep from overwhelming myself with feelings.
First thing I learned is that I sometimes just have to tune the world out. This is especially true when I am experiencing my own struggles. I’m not wanting to shut out those I love and care about, but I also have to make sure to care for myself. I desperately try to communicate so that nobody feels rejected, unfortunately I’m not always successful.
I have also worked on not allowing myself to be overwhelmed by the emotions of others. I won’t say that I am exactly great at this, but I have been attempting to monitor my reactions by analyzing how I’m feeling and why I’m feeling that way. I can sometimes talk myself through the overwhelming feelings and allow myself to not take them on.
I know that there is nothing special about my experiences during the past year, but they are MY experiences. I’ve attempted to brush them aside because others are worse. I’ve learned that I can’t take on the trials of others by minimizing my own. I know I am truly blessed, but sometimes things can feel shitty for me too.
Probably the most important lesson has been that I am not only NOT a superhero, but swooping in and fixing things isn’t always the best thing for my loved ones either. One friend in particular, had been instrumental in this area. My desire to make her happy, or convince her that it will all be better soon, led her to feeling brushed off or minimized. That was so far from my intention, but it was the result nonetheless. I don’t have to fix everything for everyone. What I really need to do is listen, support and love them through their emotions. Still working on this one too, but I’m trying.
I hope and pray that this pandemic will be over soon. I also realize that there will always be some crisis or troubles ahead. Hopefully, I’ll continue learning as I am faced with them all. Until then, Be Safe, Be Happy, Be Healthy and Be Amazing.