Thoughts on an ever-evolving life

An Empaths Journey through Isolation and Covid

It’s been months since the last time I wrote anything for my Blog. With the world-wide quarantine, I can’t really blame it on being super busy. I have continued to keep moving at a steady pace, but my real excuse is that I just haven’t felt like writing. I’ve had plenty of thoughts going through my brain, but they all seem to jumble and crash into each other. I have been struggling, as everyone has, with the consequences of the pandemic we have all experienced.

As someone who tends to have empath characteristics, this has brought an entirely new level of angst and also understanding for me. I take on the feelings of others as if they were my own. When my friends, or even strangers are hurting, I ache with them and for them. I want to put on my superhero cape and swoop in to make everything better. I’ve always joked that my magic wand was in the shop and I guess my cape is too. With all the current turmoil, I’ve been taking a hard look at myself and how I can keep from overwhelming myself with feelings.

First thing I learned is that I sometimes just have to tune the world out. This is especially true when I am experiencing my own struggles. I’m not wanting to shut out those I love and care about, but I also have to make sure to care for myself. I desperately try to communicate so that nobody feels rejected, unfortunately I’m not always successful.

I have also worked on not allowing myself to be overwhelmed by the emotions of others. I won’t say that I am exactly great at this, but I have been attempting to monitor my reactions by analyzing how I’m feeling and why I’m feeling that way. I can sometimes talk myself through the overwhelming feelings and allow myself to not take them on.

I know that there is nothing special about my experiences during the past year, but they are MY experiences. I’ve attempted to brush them aside because others are worse. I’ve learned that I can’t take on the trials of others by minimizing my own. I know I am truly blessed, but sometimes things can feel shitty for me too.

Probably the most important lesson has been that I am not only NOT a superhero, but swooping in and fixing things isn’t always the best thing for my loved ones either. One friend in particular, had been instrumental in this area. My desire to make her happy, or convince her that it will all be better soon, led her to feeling brushed off or minimized. That was so far from my intention, but it was the result nonetheless. I don’t have to fix everything for everyone. What I really need to do is listen, support and love them through their emotions. Still working on this one too, but I’m trying.

I hope and pray that this pandemic will be over soon. I also realize that there will always be some crisis or troubles ahead. Hopefully, I’ll continue learning as I am faced with them all. Until then, Be Safe, Be Happy, Be Healthy and Be Amazing.

Space (75 words)

Space (75 words) Emergency lights flickered. Astronaut Jack Archer stared out the cracked window to find a yellow pin prick of light against the …

Space (75 words)

***75 POWERFUL words

Wake Me

Wake me from this nightmare
I seem trapped in
With every breath I take

Wake me from this isolation
The loneliness of millions
Dismissed by the doubters

Wake me from this turmoil
Unfolding around me
Day in and day out

Wake me from this pain
Crushing the world
With sorrow and hate

Wake me from this travesty
Of lives senselessly lost
Multiplying by the second

Wake me from this chaos
A world stripped barren
Of unconditional love

Wake me.

I’m So Very Sad

I’m So Very Sad. Yesterday, our great friends lost their home to a wildfire. He was the Best Man at our wedding. Everything is gone. They moved there 23 years ago and lived in a wall-tent for the first couple years while they built a rough shell of a home. Since then, they have continued to work on their house, barn and beautiful farm full of fruits, vegetables and animals. In one night, those years of sweat were completely erased into ashes.

We can step back and remember that all family members, human and animal, survived. That will ALWAYS be the most important part. But now what?

I am feeling so very helpless, wondering what to do for them. They have no idea what they even need yet. They can’t wrap their heads around this themselves. It’s a very destitute feeling for everyone.

I have no doubt that they will successfully move forward. They are strong people with a community of friends and family behind them. But for now, we all feel numb.

My Heart Aches

My heart aches
As it breaks
Missing you

My heart is lost
It’s the cost
Of loving you

My heart extends
As it mends
Getting over you

I Want to be Your Vixen

I want to be your vixen
I need to be your vice
Your burning passion
Your exotic spice

I want to be your fantasy
I need to be your muse
Your forbidden fruit
Your detonator fuse

I want to be your hunger
I need to be your sin
Your longing desire
Your electrified skin

The Wide and Awesome Kinky World

When I first began this blog, it was definitely D/s focused. Some things remain the same. I am still married and still submissive in the bedroom, so …

The Wide and Awesome Kinky World

THIS!! This is how successful relationships work! You make it your own. Protocols aren’t universal, they are unique to the individuals involved. I read this and had to share. Always be open and welcoming to new ideas, but don’t judge because it’s not exactly the way you do it. Bravo!!

My Mouth Waters

My mouth waters, and I hunger
At the simple sight of you.
Seeing and knowing, what resides
Under your thin, cloth packaging.

Never Mine

Never mine
Belonging to another
But your memory seared in my mind forever

Never kissed
To match the longing
But the illicit tingle still lingers on my lips

Never taken
In the way desired
But my body knows your touch just the same

Never again
To speak lustful words
But our forbidden script is written on my soul


Fireworks in the sky
Bright colors
Loud booms
Filling my heart with Patriotic Pride

Fireworks in the world
Nasty words
Outright lies
Tearing everyone irrevocably apart

Fireworks in our strength
Sickness spreading
Lives ending
Praying for a certain cure

Fireworks in the bedroom
Bodies sweat
Pleasure explodes
Basking in our sated afterglow

Fireworks in my heart
Family love
Cherished friends
Appreciating the fullness of my life

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