Thoughts on an ever-evolving life

…and Cruel

The way he smiles is warm…and ominous

The way he looks is breathtaking…and fierce

The way he talks is humorous…and punitive

The way he touches is soft…and cutting

The way he kisses is easy…and bitter

The way he shares intimacy is tender…and vicious

The way he loves is addictive…and cruel


Touch me like I’m fragile

Undress me like I’m desired

Kiss me like I’m oxygen

Claim me like I’m yours

Stolen Seconds

The taste of your cock remains on my tongue

The grasping of your fingers twisting my nipples endures

The warmth of your breath on my breasts continues to burn

The slightest touch, brush or hint of your skin contacting mine, lingers and longs for more

I ache for and from you

Too long in between

Inadequate time

Never enough

Time Passes

It’s been forever since I posted anything. One year and 20 days to be exact. I have had moments of scribbling down thoughts and ideas, but nothing has made it into print. I need to change that, for no other reason than I NEED to for ME!

Nobody on planet earth will be surprised that the last few years have been a bit of a challenge. Global pandemics have a way of making life difficult. Being fully vaccinated and with boosters on board, when I actually contracted Covid, it was luckily a mild case. Apparently, I should have SUPER Immunity now. Guess only time will tell.

Work became a nightmare for me. I won’t go into details, but when I found myself in tears almost every day, I began working to find something else to support my family. I am Thrilled to say that I have changed positions and am again happy to go into work every day. Unfortunately, it ended a 20+ year friendship, but that was the cost of finding out someone’s true colors.

Happy to say my family is doing Great. Kids continue to thrive and give me grey hairs. The difficult situation with my mother is getting to a more comfortable place. I now know more than ever that family doesn’t mean blood relatives. I have friends that I hold as dear to my heart as anyone I am genetically related to.

As for Professor and I, I can honestly tell you that I am more in love with this man than I was the day I married him decades ago. Still have days where I would happily run his ass over with the truck, but what couple doesn’t have those days?

D/s has become nonexistent in our relationship, but it definitely led to good changes for us. I have a partner that I can lean on, depend on and count on for all things good or bad. I won’t lie and say that I don’t miss it, desperately sometimes, but we had to find a rhythm that worked for us both. Who knows what the future will bring?

That’s it for now. I’m going to try to get in here more than once a year from now on. Fingers Crossed!! Stay Kind and Kinky!

An Empaths Journey through Isolation and Covid

It’s been months since the last time I wrote anything for my Blog. With the world-wide quarantine, I can’t really blame it on being super busy. I have continued to keep moving at a steady pace, but my real excuse is that I just haven’t felt like writing. I’ve had plenty of thoughts going through my brain, but they all seem to jumble and crash into each other. I have been struggling, as everyone has, with the consequences of the pandemic we have all experienced.

As someone who tends to have empath characteristics, this has brought an entirely new level of angst and also understanding for me. I take on the feelings of others as if they were my own. When my friends, or even strangers are hurting, I ache with them and for them. I want to put on my superhero cape and swoop in to make everything better. I’ve always joked that my magic wand was in the shop and I guess my cape is too. With all the current turmoil, I’ve been taking a hard look at myself and how I can keep from overwhelming myself with feelings.

First thing I learned is that I sometimes just have to tune the world out. This is especially true when I am experiencing my own struggles. I’m not wanting to shut out those I love and care about, but I also have to make sure to care for myself. I desperately try to communicate so that nobody feels rejected, unfortunately I’m not always successful.

I have also worked on not allowing myself to be overwhelmed by the emotions of others. I won’t say that I am exactly great at this, but I have been attempting to monitor my reactions by analyzing how I’m feeling and why I’m feeling that way. I can sometimes talk myself through the overwhelming feelings and allow myself to not take them on.

I know that there is nothing special about my experiences during the past year, but they are MY experiences. I’ve attempted to brush them aside because others are worse. I’ve learned that I can’t take on the trials of others by minimizing my own. I know I am truly blessed, but sometimes things can feel shitty for me too.

Probably the most important lesson has been that I am not only NOT a superhero, but swooping in and fixing things isn’t always the best thing for my loved ones either. One friend in particular, had been instrumental in this area. My desire to make her happy, or convince her that it will all be better soon, led her to feeling brushed off or minimized. That was so far from my intention, but it was the result nonetheless. I don’t have to fix everything for everyone. What I really need to do is listen, support and love them through their emotions. Still working on this one too, but I’m trying.

I hope and pray that this pandemic will be over soon. I also realize that there will always be some crisis or troubles ahead. Hopefully, I’ll continue learning as I am faced with them all. Until then, Be Safe, Be Happy, Be Healthy and Be Amazing.

Space (75 words)

Space (75 words) Emergency lights flickered. Astronaut Jack Archer stared out the cracked window to find a yellow pin prick of light against the …

Space (75 words)

***75 POWERFUL words

Wake Me

Wake me from this nightmare
I seem trapped in
With every breath I take

Wake me from this isolation
The loneliness of millions
Dismissed by the doubters

Wake me from this turmoil
Unfolding around me
Day in and day out

Wake me from this pain
Crushing the world
With sorrow and hate

Wake me from this travesty
Of lives senselessly lost
Multiplying by the second

Wake me from this chaos
A world stripped barren
Of unconditional love

Wake me.

I’m So Very Sad

I’m So Very Sad. Yesterday, our great friends lost their home to a wildfire. He was the Best Man at our wedding. Everything is gone. They moved there 23 years ago and lived in a wall-tent for the first couple years while they built a rough shell of a home. Since then, they have continued to work on their house, barn and beautiful farm full of fruits, vegetables and animals. In one night, those years of sweat were completely erased into ashes.

We can step back and remember that all family members, human and animal, survived. That will ALWAYS be the most important part. But now what?

I am feeling so very helpless, wondering what to do for them. They have no idea what they even need yet. They can’t wrap their heads around this themselves. It’s a very destitute feeling for everyone.

I have no doubt that they will successfully move forward. They are strong people with a community of friends and family behind them. But for now, we all feel numb.

My Heart Aches

My heart aches
As it breaks
Missing you

My heart is lost
It’s the cost
Of loving you

My heart extends
As it mends
Getting over you

I Want to be Your Vixen

I want to be your vixen
I need to be your vice
Your burning passion
Your exotic spice

I want to be your fantasy
I need to be your muse
Your forbidden fruit
Your detonator fuse

I want to be your hunger
I need to be your sin
Your longing desire
Your electrified skin

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