missameliaandsir

Thoughts on an ever-evolving life

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Kinkfest Reflections

Blog Post-4-8-2018-Kinkfest Revisited

(image from the internet of an event from the past, this year was MUCH larger)

Professor and I attended Kinkfest last weekend. We had never been before and were extremely excited to find out what it was all about. Of course, things didn’t begin as we had planned and we arrived later than we had expected, but we made it!

We weren’t able to attend any seminars the first day, so we used our time to wander the vendor area. I must admit, I had REALLY been looking forward to this. Seeing all the fun, new, and unusual objects displayed on tables was a total mind fantasy overload. Professor just laughed as I squealed at every new table and item I picked up to admire. I’m glad he was there to keep my splurges under control.

As this area closed up for the night, we returned to our hotel room to prepare for the evening in the dungeon. Never having been to anything like this, I must admit I was both excited and a bit apprehensive. Over dinner, we discussed how we were feeling and what our limits of the night were. I really wanted to explore and watch, and not feel the need to preform that night. Professor agreed and we went with only ourselves and our sense of wonder.

While we were enjoying our dinner, we overheard two ladies talking with a man at the bar. He was attending Kinkfest and the two ladies were sisters asking a million questions about the event. Professor and I laughed to ourselves at some of their questions of wonder. The man left and the two ladies continued talking about it. They came to the conclusion that they just never knew anybody that did those kind of things. I couldn’t help myself, so as we got up to leave, I walked over, said excuse “me but I couldn’t help but listen to your conversation and I GUARENTEE that you know someone that is kinky like that”. They responded with “REALLY? You think so?” I smiled, their eyes widened and asked, YOU? I again smiled and nodded my head yes, and we began a discussion of what BDSM, D/s and kink really is. It was a lot of fun and I feel like I was able to be a good ambassador.

The Dungeon was a HUGE space with every type and kind of equipment and area that you could imagine. There was great music and perfect lighting and a room full of kink in every form. The areas were divided by a perfect maze of red carpets that allowed us to flow through the room and take everything in.

Benches, tables, stools and chairs were scattered everywhere. There was a fenced area where whip play could safely be performed. The rigging and rope area allowed for several ties to easily occur simultaneously. There was a designated and plastic-lined area for blood play. Several matted areas were scattered around the room, some designated as aftercare-only areas, and others for wrestling and immobility play. There was a Baby play area with toys and blocks, and a corral for horse play and carriage rides. Really, if you wanted to watch it or do it, it was there.

The screams and moans were coming from every direction. There were cracks and slaps happening at an immeasurable rate. A smattering of laughter was mixed with a flooding of tears. It was a LOT to take in. We observed for several trips around the room and then returned to our hotel to rest for the next day.

We were up early to attend the first workshop. It was a wax play discussion. There were two speakers that had extensive experience and some wonderful suggestions that they demonstrated on their model. I especially loved the use of a 50/50 mixture of Crisco and coconut oil that they used as a preparation for the wax. It made the removal extremely easy without diminishing the experience or beautiful splatter designs. They answered every question that was asked, and then offered personal instruction if anyone desired it. We went up to see some of the equipment more closely, and I was able to have some wax applied to my arm with a paint brush, then removed with a butcher knife. I LOVED IT!!

Our discussion was over a bit early, so we slipped into another workshop already in progress about dealing with the pain. I found myself becoming a bit overwhelmed as we watched. The sub was describing how she was handling the pain being delivered. I appreciated that, but her eyes and words begging for him to stop was a bit too much for my already over-stimulated being, so we quietly slipped out.

We found ourselves with a few more minutes of free time and back at the vendor area. Professor ordered me the most beautiful black and purple leather ringed colla,r and I can’t wait for it to arrive. We were also able to find him a perfectly fit earthy green kilt. It’s comfortable, sexy as hell, and provides EASY access, a list of my favorite things.

Our next discussion was on pressure points for pain and pleasure. It was so informative and exceptionally fun because the speaker encouraged the audience to participate with him as he demonstrated. I found myself moaning and wincing in both forms of delivery. I left the entire seminar in a bit of a puddle.

We had several hours free so Professor and I left the event for a while and wandered the waterfront and Saturday Market nearby to relax and rest our minds. I loved sharing a vendor food lunch and taking in the sights while holding hands and feeling loved.

We returned to our room, rested and prepared for another night in the Dungeon. We attended a meet and greet at a nearby hotel, for attendees of the event. Couldn’t go out into the main area, because it was a cigar social, and the smoke is detrimental to my senses, so we sat inside and took in the event and conversations. We had planned on ordering dinner there, but the lines and wait were CRAZY long, so we eventually excused ourselves and drove down the road to HOOTERS, and grabbed a bite to eat. 

We had decided to take some equipment to play that night. We reentered the venue and decided to walk around first. I am 100% supportive of you doing whatever kink that turns you on as long as it’s safe, sane and consensual, but I came to a few conclusions about what is and isn’t for me. I was surprised that the Female Domme and male submissive seemed to far outnumber the opposite combination. While I have no problem with this, I now know more clearly that I am a submissive and have no desire to control Professor (I know he doesn’t desire that either). I am also sure that I am not into the role playing of babies and animals. They can completely get their kink on there, but I’m just not a diaper girl. Also, the blood play isn’t for me. I was intrigued to see it, since we have never played that way, but quickly learned that I could avoid that area just fine.

We stopped to watch some fairly intense scenes. Some were WAY more intense than anything I could ever handle. As we continued around, looking for a possible play space, I became extremely overwhelmed and broke into tears. Professor immediately pulled me aside and began taking care of me. Funny, we hadn’t done anything and I was suddenly in need of heavy aftercare, but luckily he recognized that and was able to re-center me. He held me, comforted me, loved me, and we talked.

We realized that while we had seen SO MUCH intensity, we hadn’t seen any real aftercare. I told him I saw the play, but hadn’t felt any of the love that I find so important. Instead of playing, we began walking around again looking for aftercare. We had watched a scene between an older couple where he was caning her bloody and almost unconscious. We came back around to where they had been playing just as he wrapped her unchained, limp body in a blanket and called for a chair to place her on. He sat her down and began gently giving her sips of water in between loving kisses on her forehead. When she could finally hold the water bottle herself, he scrambled over and grabbed her socks, kneeling down in front of her and kissing her before placing each one on, and giving a loving rub to her feet. I watched this happening and felt an overwhelming warmth washing over me. It was EXACTLY what I needed to experience.

Professor decided that we would not be playing and we returned to our hotel room where he did EXACTLY what he knew we needed and we eventually drifted off to sleep wrapped in each other, smiling and completely sated.

So, I don’t know that this will be a new yearly event, but I would absolutely go back. Next time, it will be with a little better understanding and a bit better prepared. Kink is very individualized and everyone needs to explore and find what does and doesn’t work for them. I’m incredibly blessed to be able to discover my limits with a partner who is open, loving, giving, understanding, and owns me heart, body and soul. Thank you Daddy.

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Unconditional Love

Blog Post-3-20-2018-Unconditional Love

You offer me love
Unconditional
Unless, of course
I don’t meet your conditions

Nobody will ever put us
Asunder
Unless, of course
You ask me to choose

We will always have open
Communication
Unless, of course
You refuse to speak

We are a forever
Family
Unless, of course
You decide to walk away

Tailgating Part III

2-16-15-Tailgating

He stood, turned to her with a devilish look in his eyes and said, “I never said we were leaving.” She could not help wondering, what was he up to? That was about all she had time to think as he grabbed her by the waist, spun her around to face the tailgate and commanded, “Bend over, put your hands out flat in front of you and close your eyes. And you BETTER keep them closed!”
She did EXACTLY what he directed and responded with a soft, “Yes, Sir.” He started moving all around her and talking.
“I went shopping today. I have a few new things I would like to introduce to you.” She heard him unzipping a bag. He continued, “You know what this is, don’t you?” as he placed something into her out-stretched hands.
“Yes,” she replied. “This is the wonderful leather rope you wrapped around me a few nights ago.”
“That’s correct. And I know you recognize these.”
“Yes” she responded shakily, with her eyes still closed, as he placed the cold metal handcuffs into her hand. She knew them very well. They were quick-release cuffs, and she had almost mastered escaping from them.
“Now, you won’t recognize these, because you have never seen them before, but I bet you can guess what they are. They are much heavier than the others and you WON’T be getting out of these.”
She almost couldn’t breathe as he place another set of handcuffs into her hand. They were MUCH heavier than the others, and she had no idea how these worked. She began trembling harder.
“Now, we need to see just how well built these Tundras are.” He first grabbed her right wrist and stretched it out to the side. She felt the click of a set of handcuffs on her wrist, quickly followed by another click to a metal object, which happened to be where the tailgate latched. The same sequence followed to the left. She was now stretched, arms secured out to each side of the truck, and bent at the waist over the tailgate. She was completely unable to move.
“I bought a new toy for myself today. Would you like to guess what it is?” he said as she felt a cool piece of leather glide across her cheek. It was followed by a long, slow trip down her back, coming to a rest across her ass. She instantly knew EXACTLY what it was. Sir had bought a riding crop! In one swift move, her pants were down around her snow boots. She was out in the cold night air, bare assed and gasping for breath.
The sudden sting of the leather across her ass was like nothing she had ever felt before. It was sharp, intense, and much more localized than any of her previous spankings. It sent an instant electric surge straight to her core and clit. After several biting stings, Sir said, “Yes. This will do very nicely, but I will have to be very careful with it. I could do some serious damage if I were to get carried away. I will need a little more practice. This is enough of an introduction for tonight. Good thing this isn’t all I brought.”
She heard more rustling and suddenly felt the familiar thrust of their wooden Manzanita toy into her dripping wet pussy. Sir pounded her with such force and aggression that within mere moments she was coming. Seconds later, as he continued his assault, she felt a gush from her pussy that sent streams of fluid running down her bare thighs, soaking into her jeans still wrapped around her ankles.
“Now that is EXACTLY what I wanted,” he said with an air of joy and satisfaction in his voice. Sir went into the truck and returned with a towel to dry her wet legs and pussy. He then pulled up her pants, released her hands from the cuffs, and told her she could open her eyes. There was NO WAY she could possibly have supported herself on her weak legs, so she just remained bent over the tailgate.
After some time, and with the support of Sir, she was able to stand on her own. She looked into his loving face and asked, “Please Sir, may I take care of you now?”
He softly caressed her cheek, kissed her and said, “Not now, but you will. You are shivering and I want to take you home and FUCK you because you are my Fuck Girl, aren’t you?”
“Yes, Sir. I am YOUR Fuck Girl.”
She hadn’t even noticed, but suddenly she was shivering. Sir placed her in the cab of the truck and turned the heat on high. He quickly loaded everything into the back, and they set off for home.
As they drove in the silence of the snow, she felt overwhelming emotion wash over her. Sir must have sensed it and asked, “Are you alright, my love?” The tears came streaming down her face as she caught her breath to reply. “No, Sir. I am not alright. I am so much more than alright. I never thought that I would ever feel this kind of love, devotion, connection and bliss. Thank you for giving me that. I LOVE YOU.”
They rode home holding hands and finished the most perfect night at home, in their bedroom, with Sir’s cum dripping from her smiling face.

Tailgating Part II

2-16-15-Tailgating

**Quick disclaimer: This part of my story contains sport shooting guns. Especially with the recent tragedies, I know this is a highly volatile subject for some. PLEASE KNOW that while we are gun owners, ours are secured and extreme caution is used with and around them.

 

When he arrived home, he smiled, kissed her and informed her that he had to get a few quick things and they would be leaving. She grabbed her jacket and purse and went to wait for him by his truck. She peeked in the back, and from what she could see, was pretty sure she knew where they were going. He had his guns and targets in the backseat, so they had to be going to The Pit. She was excited and a little apprehensive too. She had shot guns with Sir before, but they still scared her. He threw the last few items in the back and they were off. Just as she suspected, they were indeed headed to The Pit.
The Pit is an old gravel quarry way out in the woods that people use as a backstop for target practice. Usually during this time of the year it is inaccessible due to heavy snow, but this year the roads were manageable in 4 wheel drive. They arrived and she instantly saw that he had been out there earlier in the day, preparing for their arrival. There were targets already set up, and a large pile of cribbed wood in the middle of the pit. It was a very nice day somewhat warmer than typical for January, with the sun setting on the tall pines and snow all around.
Sir turned off the truck and came around to her door to help her out. He took her hand and led her to the back where he opened the tailgate. He quickly set up the propane heater and started it blasting nice hot air to keep her warm. The first weapon he pulled out was a small .32 Smith and Wesson handgun with fixed iron sites. It had belonged to his Great-Grandfather. He had given it to Sir’s Grandfather one day, telling him “I need you to take this so I won’t kill my wife with it.” You see, Sir’s Great-Grandfather was a very strong Roman-Catholic from Italy, and even though he HATED his second wife, he could never divorce her because the church wouldn’t allow it. So, via his Grandfather, Sir now owned this gun. Sir told her all about the gun, how to load it, how to empty it and how the iron sites were used. They put on ear protection and she emptied 24 rounds into the clay targets and paper box. She found the iron sites to be a bit of a challenge, but really enjoyed the power she felt with her finger on the trigger. She may not have hit the bulls-eye every time, but guaranteed, if any of the targets had been an intruder, that intruder was toast. 🙂 Sir told her this would now be her gun, to keep her safe when he was away.
The next weapon to come out of the back was a .17 HMR rifle. It was big, shiny and jet black with a large mounted scope. Sir had won it at a Ducks Unlimited Banquet 2 years prior. Again, he showed her how to work the safety, load, unload, and aim the gun at targets that were MUCH further away this time. He eased her fears, telling her the gun had no recoil, and she rested it across the hood of the truck and took aim. She actually squealed when the first target was hit in the bulls-eye on the very first shot. All subsequent 6 shots hit their target and Sir put the gun away, a big smile on both of their faces.
By now, the sun was almost completely gone and dark was heavy on the trees. She had to wait a few minutes while he fussed around behind the truck. Soon he was trotting away from the truck, toward the nice pile of cribbed wood carrying a gallon jug with him. He placed it on a piece of concrete that sat about 5 feet in front of the crib, and started a small fire in between the jug and the crib. Sir ran back to where she was waiting. He pulled out an extremely large rifle, a .220 Swift, which he said shot at extremely high velocity. With the biggest grin on his face he said, “This is about to be what is known as a ‘Redneck Bonfire’. Fire in the Hole!”, and shot that gallon jug. Well, that jug was full of gasoline, and when it exploded onto that little fire, the erupting fireball shot about 40 feet into the air and rained down onto the snow, setting the cribbed wood ablaze. It was truly spectacular.
They packed up the few remaining items from shooting, and moved the truck closer to the fire. Sir backed it up so the tailgate was the perfect distance from the fire to sit and enjoy the warmth. To make sure she was completely comfortable, he also moved the hot propane heater so she was surrounded by a curtain of heat. He retrieved a small cooler from the back. “Would you eat a picnic dinner with me, my love?”
Her face nearly hurt from the grin that formed on her face, and she quickly informed him “That would be wonderful, Sir.” He used that brilliant fire to slowly roast hot dogs. While he squatted and roasted, she fed them both the delicious Greek salad that he had brought. For dessert, they feasted on carefully prepared, decadent S’mores. It was the perfect end to a perfect date with her Sir.
As she finished packing up the very last of the dinner, she noticed him putting more wood on the almost dead fire. “We don’t want to stoke that and leave it do we?” she quietly asked.

Tailgating Part I

2-16-15-Tailgating

**Here is a little repeat of one of my very first posts from a few years ago. You can always go back and read it in its entirety, or you can experience the deliciousness of waiting for the next part. Your choice. Xoxo

 

Her husband had informed her that they had plans on Saturday. Sir didn’t tell her what, but her day was going to be full. Curiosity and excitement filled her brain. What was he planning?
They woke in the early morning on Saturday and quickly found themselves entwined in each other. She loves it when he wraps around her body and they are able to spoon in the morning. During the crazy work week, they usually don’t have a lot of time for that, so on the weekends she really craves it. Sir informed her that she would be going to the movies with their daughter at 11:45, and then they would be going out together around 4-ish. Of course, where they would be going was not shared.
His hands began to explore her body as hers did his. Her already erect nipples were caressed, squeezed and pinched between his strong and nimble fingers. Her hand slid across the sheets to caress and stroke his already stiff cock. Sir’s other hand slid down her body until it found her soft mound and his fingers slid easily into her already wet slit.
They continued this exploration for a few minutes, until she started to feel a little disobedience flood though her. She moved her body so she was lying flat on her stomach and all touching had stopped. She kissed him firmly on the lips, smiled and told him, “Thanks, but I am done with you for now.” She tried to quickly scamper out of bed, but he was not amused. Sir caught her by the arm before she was able to completely free herself from the layers of blankets. In a flash, his hand was around the back of her neck and she was pinned with her face pressing into the bedside table and the headboard. “I am not done with you!” comes growling from his mouth as he forced his hard cock into her already drenched pussy. Unable to move, and the discomfort of the corner of the nightstand being pressed into her left cheek. She felt the flood of euphoria cover her body as she prepared for his power and release. Well, there was no need to prepare, because after a few exquisite thrusts of his hips, just enough to really get her going, he stopped, withdrew himself from all her folds and whispered in her ear, “NOW I am done with YOU!” He jumped out of bed and went into the bathroom, closing and locking the door. “BASTARD!” she thought.
That didn’t work out at all like she had planned, so she put on her bathrobe and went into the kitchen to get a cup of coffee. She was sitting in a big, comfy chair when Sir finally came down the hall. He walked around the chair and pulled the big, padded ottoman from under her feet, and into the middle of the room. He extended his hand to her and jerked her to her feet. Walking her across the floor, he stopped, turned her so her back was facing the ottoman and lowered her down. He pulled her by the knees, until her ass was slightly over the edge. In one smooth move, her robe was unzipped and she was completely exposed, naked and in the middle of their living room. Sir quickly released his erect cock from his pants, grabbed her again behind the knees and began fucking her. It was hard, deep, and hit her G-spot with reckless abandon. She reached her climax at the same moment he fully released himself into her pulsing, wet pussy. Panting like a dog, she managed to get out a breathy, “Thank you, Sir.” “Good Girl,” he smiled, and was off to wake their daughter.
She quickly retreated to the bathroom to clean herself and prepare for the day. Her and her daughter went off to the movies. They watched Into the Woods and it was GREAT! They talked about it all the way home. She was sad to see Sir was not home when they got there. She called him to find out where he was, and he told her he was running errands and would be home soon. She was to be ready to go with a warm coat and her snow boots on when he returned. She promised him she would be ready, just as he had instructed.

I’m Overwhelmed

Blog Post-3-9-2018-I'm Overwhelmed

I’m overwhelmed
Nothing in particular
Just pressure and heaviness

I feel the tears
Sitting just below the surface
Threatening to breech my resolve

I can’t concentrate
Hate the confusion
Could I be losing my mind

I know I’m going to be alright
I know I have support and am loved
So why do I feel this way?

**Just FYI, I’m doing just fine. This was a write from a while ago, although, those feelings do arise from time to time. What I have decided is I feel that way because I just do, and there is NOTHING wrong with that. Shitty days happen to everyone.

I Should Be…

Blog Post-3-4-2018-I Should Be

I should be working
But I can’t stop thinking
About your touch, voice, taste
And how my senses intensify whenever you cross my mind

I should be accomplishing my tasks
But my mind won’t stop wandering to you
And how my body reacts
When you simply enter the room

I should be using my time wisely
But I want to bask in the image of you
And how it feels when you touch me
Setting my skin ablaze with a passing glance

I should be…..
With You!

ENOUGH!!

200148614-001

Even typing my title has made my skin crawl. How many times have we heard enough is enough? I don’t often dive into anything political, but we are at a point in our history that I believe we must either stand up for what we believe in, or sit back and watch the carnage build.

I am going to begin by letting you know that these are my opinions and I ask that you respect that. I appreciate dissenting views, but won’t stand for personal attacks. I have a WONDERFUL friend that I work with every day that couldn’t be more opposite in her views from me. The reason we are such good friends is that we both respect the other’s right to feel the way they feel. We don’t have to agree, but we do have to respect. I try and give that to all views, and I ask that you do the same.

One violent death at our schools is too many, and we have had hundreds. One violent death at a peaceful social gathering is too many, and we have had hundreds. People are calling for change and action. Others are arguing that it won’t fix the problem. They are both right. No one thing will fix the entire problem, but several things CAN make a difference. Speed limits don’t stop speeding or car deaths, but we accept that we must set limits to attempt to help the greater good.

Mental illness is a huge problem in this country. The mental institutions of the past are NOT the answer, but every man for himself isn’t either. We throw up our hands to obvious signs of mental instability and say, “What can we do?” To be completely honest, I’m not exactly sure. I don’t have any one answer to that question. What I do know is I have to prove myself to buy a house or a car, via my credit score and reliability. WHY shouldn’t I have to AT LEAST do that to buy a gun?

Has anyone else noticed that when the deaths came from airplanes crashing into buildings, the Legislature was ALL OVER it with new restrictions, regulations and guidelines? I recently flew and forgot to take my bottle of water out of my bag. I got searched because I had WATER. However, when it comes to ALL the deaths from gun violence, they seem to be completely incapable of any action of any kind. The airlines need to get a MUCH stronger lobby like the NRA.

People argue that if we start registering guns, they will know exactly where to come and take them. REALLY?! That’s NOT going to happen to good, law abiding citizens, and if it does, let me know and I’ll stand on your front porch and defend them right alongside of you. I have to register my cars, campers, boats and even my dog, so my guns should be a no brainer. And do we really think that 18-year olds who aren’t allowed to buy a beer should have unrestricted access to deadly weapons?

The argument that if they take your AR-15, they will come for your shotguns next seems insane to me. We already accept that rocket launchers and fully automatic weapons aren’t allowed, so why would limiting magazines or weapons of mass killing be any different? NO, it won’t stop everyone from getting one, but if we had stopped just one, there wouldn’t be 17 families planning funerals this week.

Keeping the Feds out of my personal business has also been thrown around. Waving your gun around in the air in a show of freedom is really what you need to protect? As a female, whose vagina has been a HUGE point of discussion and legislation, I can’t help but wonder if we suddenly came after your scrotum, would you continue to wave that gun, or would you suddenly feel the need to use our hands to protect something else?

Nothing will fix everything, but it is time to stop the lip service and make something happen.

I Can See…

Blog Post-2-1-2018-I Can See

I daydream…
of soaking sweat,
transcending heat
and passion unleashed.

I clearly see…
the pleasure in the administration
of delicious pain
and the glowing marks left behind.

I imagine…
the labored breaths,
primal screams
and moans of ecstasy.

I can visualize…
a scene of mutual destruction
and the aura of satisfaction
when we are both obliterated.

 

Torn Between Two Worlds

Blog Post-1-23-2018-Torn Between Two Worlds

Sometimes I live my life
In a peculiar place
Wedged between reality
And a vivid fantasy

I trod through required
Chores and must dos
While meandering
Through my imagination

I know others can clearly see
My physical actions
But do they comprehend
My evocative musings

Do they know that each step
And menial task
Is shadowed with a separate
Insatiable desire

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